He Loves Me Not

Wrong Choice?

Waking up the next day i sat up and stretched out my arms and as i looked around my room i saw no signs of any flowers or blood on my carpet... So it was all a dream then, thank god! There was no way i wanted to die, especially not from something as stupid as coughing flowers just because i couldn't get a girl to like me. Quickly i jumped out of bed and walked to my closet, i took out my clothes and began to change.

After i changed i went to the bathroom, i felt a strange tingling feeling in my throat and after a while it began to get annoying, i should just cough it out. I looked at myself in the mirror, i felt normal and i looked it too. So it was definitely a dream, case closed! i laughed awkwardly to myself and attempted to brush my mess of hair before giving up and just shoving it all into my hat, i couldn't be bothered to do much that morning. The tingling sensation in my throat began to worsen, i felt like i had to cough but first i had to make sure it was 100% a dream, i walked back into my room and opened my laptop, i could check my history and make sure i hadn't actually had that disease. 

Opening my laptop i went straight to my search history, i looked through yesterdays history, "Nothing about and flowers or disea..." i began to tell myself when i noticed as i scrolled up to last night, right there in plain sight. 'Hanahaki Disease' God fucking damnit, i felt the scratching tingle in my throat get worse, at this rate i would be on the floor coughing, i forced myself to cough and held my hands out in front of my mouth to catch any falling petals and sure enough i caught some, the blue petals and yellow pollen almost staring back at me as i looked at them, it scared me, i dumped the flower petals into the trash can next to it and left my computer. I guess today was my day to start trying to win Heidi over, i didn't want to have to rip her from Cartman but goddamnit i would if it meant i wouldn't die. 

I grabbed my bag and walked downstairs, i didn't want to see my mom this morning, i didn't even want to see my friends. I sighed as i grabbed my coat and walked out of the door, luckily  my mom was too busy to notice me leave, as i walked out of the door i began to think about what i could do to get them to break up? Maybe i could convince Heidi that he was bad, tell her all the bad things he's done. The cold wind began to bite at my nose and i felt my body wanting to shiver, i should be used to the cold mountain air, somehow i never have gotten used to it. Which can be a real pain most of the time. 

As i made my way next to stan and kenny at the bus stop i nodded and waved at them and they nodded and waved in reply, not saying a word, in fact no one spoke for a full 5 minutes and it seemed it was going to stay that way, until Cartman showed up, that fatass could never shut his mouth. All he did was talk, it was like he loved the sound of his own annoying voice. Even when no one was listening- like right then- he would just talk about whatever the hell was going on in his tiny mind. None of us were listening to him but i did keep hearing him mention Heidi's name and also the word 'bitch' a lot, there's something else i could use against him, he called his own girlfriend a bitch or at least he probably did. I felt really bad for heidi, she doesn't even know how to deal with him properly, she doesn't deserve his shit. 

The bus pulled up and we got as usual, yet again Cartman went to sit with heidi, i went and sat with stan at the back of the bus. The whole journey to school was silent for me, i zoned out and started thinking about what i was going to tell heidi, off the top of my head there were quite a few things for example: He literally fed a kid his own parents, he started a crack baby athletics association; he tried to kill all jews and acted like hitler; he tried to kill people and started a ginger uprising; he joined forces with cthulhu and tried to destroy everything and he gave me aids for fucks sake! He's a fucking evil bastard, theres no way heidi will want to be with him after that and if she does then that just means cartman has completely brainwashed and manipulated her!

Up until lunch period everything was going normal, as boring as a school day could be really. I'd been thinking about it and lunch was definitely the best time to tell her, she'd be with Cartman so i'd  have to ask to talk alone with her. As lunch rolled around i made sure i could see Heidi, i walked up to her and Cartman. 

"Hey jew what's up?" Cartman said to me, i wanted to shout at him but i kept it cool.

"Can i talk to you Heidi? Alone." i said and ignored Cartman, i looked at heidi and she nodded, she turned to Cartman and kissed him in the cheek. 

"I'll be right back babe." She said as i gestured for her to follow me while i walked to a different table and sat down, she sat opposite to me and looked at me, titling her head slightly.

"You're Kyle aren't you? Eric talks about you lots, anyway whats up?" she said in a sweet tone of voice, I had to process what she'd just said for a moment. Cartman talks about me lots? to his girlfriend? Weird, he must be talking shit about me then. 

"I want to talk to you about Cartman... I don't think you should be going out with him." I said, hesitating for a moment. She looked at he then down at her hands, then back at me. 

"Why do you think that Kyle?" She said with some level of confusion in her voice.

"Because he's a lying, manipulative psychopath, Theres so much he's done wrong and i don't think you deserve to deal with his bullshit." I said with a neutral expression, i hated cartman but for some reason what i was doing just felt....wrong. But it was for the greater good and so i had to push that away.

"Why would you say that? He is so sweet and kind to me!" She said, her face looked hurt and it made me feel even more guilty than before but it had to be done.

"He might be right now but trust me, he has done some messed up shit! I can name things off the top of my head: There's the time he started a ginger uprising; the time he acted like hitler and tried to get Mel Gibson fans to kill all the jews; theres the time he joined up with an evil overlord and destroy humanity; Theres the time he gave me aids and worst of all he chopped up a kids parents and fed it to him." I said with a certain level of passion in my voice, This would definitely get her away from him. I felt really bad as i watched her face turn to shock and horror but then to sadness.

"But he's so sweet to me! There's no way that's all true!" She said as she looked at her hands, her voice was filled with so much sorrow i desperately wanted to tell her it wasn't but that would ruin my plan.

"I'm sorry but it is. I hope you'll make the right decision." i said as i got up from the table and walked back to my usual table with the rest of the boys. I watched her from the corner of my eye as she got up and walked sadly back to cartman, she looked like all the life had been sucked out of her. I watched as Cartman looked at her, i couldn't tell what they were saying to each other but i could tell it wasn't good, Cartman looked devastated and Heidi looked depressed, it just made me feel worse about the whole situation, suddenly the tickling in my throat started again, Jesus christ now was not the time. 

I got up from my seat and ran to the bathrooms as the tingling progressively got worse and worse, i ran to the bathroom sink and began to cough, i could feel the petals stroking the inside of my throat and cheeks, it felt horrible, like someone was tickling them with a feather, i kept coughing and coughing until the flowers became bloodier and then the tingling stopped again. I looked myself in the eyes through the mirror. God i hope this ends soon, i can't fucking deal with more of this insane bullshit, it hurts. it fucking hurts.

I stayed in the bathrooms till lunch period ended and when the bell rung i went into my class, i sat down and the lesson began, it was boring and i barely paid any attention, sometimes i would get a small tingling feeling and then i'd cough up a single petal but luckily no one noticed, i hid the petals in my desk as the day went and the lessons ended. Finally the bell for home rang, school was out and i could do some more research to see if there was any other way to fix it, i remember being something about surgery...

On the walk home i tried my best to keep my mind from coughing until i was actually home and i was almost there, a couple meters maybe? I'm not sure but i could see my street in the far distance then suddenly from behind me i heard a voice.

"KAHL! YOU SNEAKY FUCKING NO GOOD, GINGER, JEW! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!!" I turned around to see none other than an angry, red in the face, Cartman. Fuck. i began trying to walk back and although Cartman was still fat he caught up to me in no time at all, when he was angry he could run as fast as me and my god, was he angry.

{Notes: I tried to make this one longer and I'm sorry if its a flop also i really love writing internal dialogue, its just really fun for me so I'm sorry if there is too much of it. Hope you enjoyed!}