Heaven Knows

912 28 2

by chashkieh

by chashkieh

Lucifer messed up real bad. He knew she was done with him. He knew she didn't want to have to do anything with him. But no matter how guilty he felt for the loss of ten men, he doesn't regret saving her.

But because she asked, he left the LAPD, busied himself and moved to another city, leaving Lux to Maze's care. He set-up another club in Vegas and spent all his energy and time granting favors. Until one day, he heard about the Detective's nuptials to a man he hasn't met. Apparently, the little spark she had with the new lieutenant didn't pan out and another took his place.

Curious, he makes a few calls and finds out where the reception is, and thought he'd drop by to see how she's doing, discreetly. So he drives back to LA on the day of her wedding, skipping the church rites, and skillfully sneaks in the reception, right in the middle of the first dance.

My, she looks as beautiful as when he last saw her. And happy, too. That's all Lucifer wanted for her. He was gonna go and not say anything, but his former bodyguard intercepted him.

"Look who decided to show up."

"It's nice to see you too, Maze."

"Hmm. Just don't make a scene. I don't want to be the one to personally drag you out."

"Duly noted."

"... But maybe I should. You're not invited."

"I invited myself."

"Right."

"Well, I was just leaving. Take care of them, will you?"

Maze nodded. She'd seen that look before, and it was not brimming with desire.

"Don't be a stranger."

"Never with you, Mazikeen."

Of course Chloe caught him, and asked why he was there. He had answered truthfully but he thinks he may have stuttered. He hasn't seen her since that day and the most important question was, why was he even here? Why now?

"... I wanted to see you," What else could he say? "I wanted to tell you," He didn't understand why he felt the urge to spill his emotions as if that would reset time and fix everything. "I love you and I always will. It doesn't change anything."

He reassured and she agreed.

She deserved better and I deserved no one. I'll keep my distance.

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Lucifer decided to stay at the penthouse until the next day, noting the non-changes on the vicinity. Maze did really well and he had to admit he's grateful she kept everything as they were.

He stood against the railings, stared at the night sky, cigarette in hand and wondered if he had died too with the rest of the squad after pushing her to safety, would it have made a difference?

Because compared to Hell, being here on Earth is worst. Worst due to the fact that he had to let her go, that he had to watch her slip away, that she was happy without him.

Lucifer had a promise to keep.

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There are times
When I'm lying in my bed
How I bellow and cry from this stupid get
And my eyes are like windshields
On a rainy day
Almost rubbed down, swelling as I keep on
Digging my face in these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how embittered I am

Coz this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine
For all eternity

Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
Did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me?

I'm so tired
I feel like catching forty winks
Being up all night in this elbow room
That puts me in a trance
Where hopes and dreams come true

Now my lips are burning
And my eyes are hurting
From these fumes I made still I light another
Cigarette just to pass my time
Oh heaven knows how embittered I am

-Orange and Lemons

A/N: Companion of White Flag. All chapters are independent of each other unless stated otherwise.