You broke me ( matt espinosa fanfic)

Chapter 8

ROSE'S POV

'I'm not letting you go that easy' His words play over and over again in my head. It's been a week since I left and that was the only thing Matt has told me since I left. Those 7 words not even a ' what the hell' not a 'I hate you' just a 'I'm not letting you go that easy' my sleepless nights have started up again but school is out so it's not that big of a deal. I don't even know if Matt is still in London or not. My parents didn't even realize I left, they though that I was at a friends house every time I wasn't home well they are. I guess my mom didn't have to wake me up in the morning it must have made it easier on her. Ally was happy to see me, she kept me up to date whit every thing that happens well I was gone, her and Taylor are dating know, I'm really happy that they make each other happy but whenever I'm with them I have to turn away, they remind me to much of me and Matt. I have deep dark circle under my eyes from not sleeping in 3 days. The first 2 days I got home I cried myself to sleep telling myself that this was all wrong and that I mess everything up. Since day 3 I haven't been to sleep, I'm afraid to see him in my dreams.. I'm afraid that if I close my eyes I will see his and I will be reminded of him and everything little memory we ever shared.

He said that he wasn't going to let go that easily but he hasn't even tried to contact me, maybe he doesn't care anymore.. Maybe he gave up on me, he wouldn't be the first.

"I told you that I wasn't going to let you go that easily and I'm not going to"

The voice on The other side of my bedroom door scared me in till I realized who it was. I can't see him now I just can't. I hate the way he makes me feel when I'm not with him, I hate it. I hate the way that without him I'm dead, it's like I need him, like he gives me the life and energy I need to survive. Without saying any thing I get up off of my bed without braking my gaze from the door, I put my forehead against the door "I can't see you right know.." I whispered quietly "I'm not going anywhere" he simply said before I heard him slide down the door I did the same, I needed to feel close to him, even though I know he is no good for me but he is my drug, I need him to function. Nobody else can give me that feeling that I get when I'm with him, the feeling I get when we hold hands or when we are cuddle up in bed, the way we fit perfectly together.

**FLASH BACK**

"Where on earth are you taking me?!" I giggle has he pulled me by the hand through a field mixed with flowers and hay. "It's a surprise! Were almost there" " An this surprise couldn't wait I till tomorrow morning?! It had to happen at 12 AM??" I raised me eyebrow "oh look we're here!" He said with a sarcastic smile and stoping "there's nothing here! You woke me up for absolutely nothing!" "Pssss you weren't even a sleep" " Well I could be right know if you hadn't came and brought me here!" He rolled he's eyed and laid down on the grass pulling me with him. "I don't understand why you brought me here. Are you going to kill me or something?" "How did you figure it out?!" He gasped " seriously why did you bring me here?" We were cuddled up our fingers laced together while the other one of his free harms was wrapped around me. my head was wrested on his chest and my other and on his torso "look up" I looked up and saw millions of stars above us. It's was so beautiful. I could stay here all night looking up at the stars in his harms. And I swear that in this moment everything is perfect.

**END OF FLASH BACK**

I sobbed quietly at the memory, it happened a week before I left london. I felt so happy in that moment "Baby don't cry" I heard him whispered " I can't Matt I'm sorry" I whispered back letting out another sob "I screwed up big time this time Matt" I whispered again like I only wanted him to hear like if I spoke to loud he would catch what I was saying. "Baby let me in" he begged "okay" I said not even above a whisper. I unlocked my bedroom door and sit back down beside the door. He bust through the door looking for me, when he finds me he waists no time to come and hug me and whisper sweet nothings in my hear like "it's okay" "you're going to be okay" "We can't do this " "let's not think about that right know okay?" I looked up at him and he didn't look that much deferent from me, he had red pouffy eyes and bags under his eyes it looks like he hasn't slept In a week. I eventually stopped crying but stayed in his embrace. I couldn't keep doing this, this circle leaving and pain " Matt.. I can't keep doing this, I know that this time it's my fault but I just can't deal with the pain anymore, when your not with me I'm dead and when I'm with you I'm alive" " It seems like a no brainer to me, pick what is best for you, I'll understand if you want to end things, I mean I see what I do to you and I hate knowing that I caused you so much pain-" I cut him off the only way I knew how, I kissed him. "Let's not think about that now okay? Let's just go to sleep and pretend that everything is fine for tonight and we can fix this all tomorrow. Just please don't leave me tonight" "I won't I promise"

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(A/N) omg thank you so much for 400+ reads I never thought this fanfic was going anywhere but now I have 400+ reads thank you so much it means the world