debauchery *gawsten* ✓

Chapter Three

edit: 8.19.20
tw; anxiety/panic attack.
336 words

awsten p.o.v.

"it's only for like, forty minutes, okay?" otto was telling me.

we were walking to the library with our lunches in hand. i felt like i was walking on death row. nonetheless, i nodded.

we go to our favourite spot, where geoff already was. he grinned when he saw us. as we sat down, he said, "glad you two could join me. was starting to think i had to pretend to be a studious student."

otto struggled to keep in a loud laugh. i put my lunch bag on the table and got out what i had packed last night: a caprisun and chobani yogurt tube. otto raises an eyebrow but doesn't say anything. geoff, however, does.

"that's all you're eating?" his eyebrows were furrowed.

i nodded and signed a quick excuse. yeah, my eating habits over the summer were pretty lax and irregular. i'm just not used to the new one i'll have during the school months yet.

god bless for otto, and god bless that he was able to translate.

geoff nodded slowly. "okay...hey, why don't you talk?" i froze with my yogurt pack halfway to my mouth. otto tried wordlessly telling him to shut it, but he just kept going.

"i mean, a cute guy like you should be all up here yapping away. like, i don't doubt your voice is hot as shit. but no one-"

i stood up rather noisily. red-black was all i could see as i left my lunch on the table and fled.

i ran to the furthest stall and locked myself in. i backed into the corner and slid down. i wrapped my arms around my legs.

jesus, why was i this way? geoff had asked a simple question, one that i should have been able to answer, but i couldn't.

i couldn't.

i needed otto, but i wasn't so sure if he was giving me space-which was not what i wanted-or trying to find me. either way, i cried, getting lost in a sunset of blue-violet-black.