A Letter to Myself

Rest in Peace...

I was the first one to get on the school bus that afternoon.

I plopped down in my usual seat in the sixth row and the left side. I got the best view from there.

Just like every other day, I watched all of students rush to their buses. They all had one of two expressions. Most kids wore a variety of smiles, probably because school was finally over. Everyone else looked a little bit sad because they were leaving their boyfriends or girlfriends.

There was Trent. He just bumped into Nichole and Veronica because he was too into his videogame. There was Kaitlin. She was next to her boyfriend, Justin. They kissed for a good, long time before Justin hopped onto his bus. There was Melissa. She caught up to Trent and his friend to chat. I didn't know they were friends.

When the bus finally began moving, I was watching Kyle.

He was at a fast-paced walk, chatting with some girl, Jessica, I think. When he noticed the buses move,  he sped his pace up to a fast run. Kyle always ran kind of funny; he stuck his arms stuck out more than the average person. It was cute.

With the exception of a few kids, everyone I saw was walking with someone. Why was I the oddball?

I tried doing a hair flip with my bangs like all the cool kids. Honestly, it was pretty annoying, but at least they were out of my face.

My mind went blank after that. I must have ran out of things to think about. So I listened to the people around me.

"…And we were talking about Abbi at lunch. Kevin said that he didn't really like her, but he didn't have the guts to tell her that."

"Okay, that's a lie. When I was behind them in the hall, he was telling Abbi  that he 'loved her so much.'"

"Well he was lying! It's not like he's going to say 'You're my girlfriend, but I don't love you.' He's too chicken..."

Lie. What if I lied in my speech? What if I pretended I had the perfect family, with nice and generous parents and loving siblings? No one would know.

What if I did that?

I debated that for the rest of the bus ride. When we finally arrived at my house, I decided that it'd be too much of a pain, and lying is bad, anyway.

Almost tripping over the feet in the isle, I stepped off of the bus.

Surprisingly, Mom was outside in the garage, trying to organize the sea of boxes. She gave me a rushed smile and turned back to her work.

"Mom!" I dashed over to her, giving her a warm embrace. I was so happy to be with someone who actually liked me.

"What are you looking for?" I questioned, refusing to let go.

"I'm looking for things to sell," Mom sighed, forcing me off of her. She wiped the drops of sweat from her forehead. "I found this on the road this morning before work." Mom pulled out a crumpled up beige paper from her pocket and handed it to me.

November 5-November 8

Spring Creek Garage Sale!

Spring Creek. That was our subdivision. Well, not our subdivision; our small, old house sat just outside of Spring Creek Estates.  Our Landlord's parents bought the Spring Creek land and got most of the houses built sometime during the 80s. Technically, our house wasn't considered part of the subdivision, so I didn't understand why Mom wanted to participate in it.

"I figured that since our house is smaller now, we won't be able to fit this stuff in there," Mom explained as if reading my thoughts. "And we really could use the extra money."