Dee Likes Marah

A Separate Thing... (message from the author)

Writer's block is a hard thing to deal with. I wish that I tackled this sooner. I haven't been on here for a while because I felt lost, I've been procrastinating getting back to finishing this project. I hope that you guys will be open and understanding and willing to read again. I am a complete and total perfectionist with everything that I do. And honestly, critisism of my work makes me quite paranoid. It's not that I want to create an echo chamber around myself and my readers, where everything is just positive feedback because that's not great.  All I wanted when I started this project was to use this platform made available to me to share a story that combines stories from my past and present, and (through my characters) create people who went through the same struggles I did, not as a way of fixing them but moreso to cope with things that have happened to me, to inspire someone else and to make a community where people could relate to my story. However, recently I've lost that connection to my book. In the first few chapters of this book, where my character was reminiscing on past experiences that have happened, I felt that I could connect and relate to those experiences, making the story real to me. Writing about those topics helped me to acknowledge that they'd happened, to let go of them. With these recent chapters, my writing has gone in different directions that I hadn't expected it to. I've lost that connection, and I've been waiting for my next spark of inspiration. 

I haven't always been the one to finish things I've set out to do, I would always start something with confidence and just give up halfway through. I don't want that to happen with this. If I were to do that, in a way I would be silencing my voice and that would be absolutely irresponsible. That would be going against the whole basis of my project. However, I wouldn't ever want to create something that started off great, and then did something totally outside of its own genre, like I'd just gotten tired of it, because you guys aren't stupid and you would be aware that I'd lost interest. 

This book was originally supposed to be an "underdog on the rise" type of story, wherein  I wrote a collection of small moments in my life, leading up to the present. I thought that it  would be uninteresting, (considering that I'm only a 15 year old with no romantic experience whatsoever) and uninspired. I thought that I could switch it up and do a sort of memoir mixed with romance sort of thing. I was never really into romances until recently. However, what with everything going on in my life at the time, I thought that it would be a good outlet for me to deal with things.

I'm sorry. I should've found the time to tell you this long ago. It was summer break when I started this book. I had more time to sit and think and analyze. Now the only thing I'm analyzing is why the hero cycle is important to a story. I've been under a lot of pressure lately, and I've pushed my project to the side. It feels like I never have time to write the way I used to. As I said before, I would hate to rush something out and it not be of quality, it would be as much a waste your time and mine. I need to do a much better job at time managing things. School's been so demanding that when I come home from being there, I totally collapse. I never want to do anything, especially on the days where my legs are in pain and swollen. 

I'm not saying that you have to pity me. I'm not trying to force you to continue reading, I don't make money from doing this, it's merely out of passion and  its a source of fulfillment for me. I don't ever want to stop writing, I practically live and breathe because of it. I apologize that  it took me some time to give you this explanation. There's not too many of you in my community right now, but I'm grateful that you've stuck around so long. This project has been helping me so much, it's really the only thing I can count on to clear my conscience and find like-minded people. As many of you know, that can be hard to come by.   

Thank you for your time today. Happy holidays.