Three Sixty Five Days

Letter Four

1st April 2017

Zekial,

I've decided to forget you.
I've made up my mind to move on.

April Fools :)

GG says I've stopped smiling. She traced my face with her Cold Wrinkled finger and said ' well cupcake, there are plenty of good looking fellas out there to make your nights interesting again '

She Saw beneath The barrier I had built. She saw the hurt I was hiding, Yet she chose to make me smile again, to make a dirty joke out of this circumstance.

Typical GG.

I haven't forgotten the last time I laughed out loud. It was a Monday, summer afternoon, I had left downstairs to take my shoes, you entered the kitchen for the 10th time that day, your fat ass looking for some snacks again, you saw me standing by the drawers and a smile found your lips, standing just inches behind me you raised your palm and smoothly hit my butt, everything happened in a slow-mo then, the room was suddenly still, you were smirking, waiting for my reaction, and when you got one, the disbelief on both of your faces was HILARIOUS !

You had spanked mother assuming it was me.

Two weeks later you left and took my smile along...

Zekial Zekial Zekial

It was funny for you to see me get pranked and I always loved how happy it made you feel.
Did you find leaving me amusing too?
For days, I kept telling myself, he's just playing with you, he loves you.
Yet again, you proved me wrong.

I sit by the rocks sometimes, thinking about you and our memories.

The Sun is bright, too bright for the darkness within.

I don't come at night.
Nights are hushed and lonely, and I'm afraid I'll sink in the silence of it.

The waves Keep me company, and just for a mere second, I imagine you there. A vivid Image of your smile, that smile I fell in love with at first place.

And then you're gone. Vanished into thin air.

'What a fool! ' you used to say.

Was I a fool to give myself to you?

To put you before me?

To leave this whole world for you?

Zekial Zekial Zekial

I remember I remember so much...a bundle of memories stored in my mind.

The time when we'd skip lunch just so, you could show me a new trick you learned in my backyard and I would be amazed every time, you were full of surprises...

Or those days when you'd celebrate my fake birthday in ' Rainés ' so we could get free desserts.

And that one time in winter, when we had spilt milk all over dad's new couch, and he made us clean Broshes's loo.

And how can I ever forget when you tricked esabellá into believing she was a mermaid from the Atlantis in her past life.

I'd gotten used to your pranks, so much that when you slammed the door on me I stood still, for months...
Waiting.
Waiting for the ' HA HA I GOT YOU '

But it never came...

Instead came Hurt and Betrayal.

Two emotions, that I've never been used to before, are all that I feel now.

I'm tired of recalling all these moments...every memory is suffocating me slowly.

I want to set free but it feels like my heart has locked itself in a cage to which I'll never be able to find a key to.
The wrecked pieces are trapped inside and the throbbing pain doesn't seem to lessen.

Zekial Zekial

Was I a fool to love you so much?

Yours,
V