Far Away

Chapter 7

The car ride seemed to go on forever. It remained silent for much of the time. It was soothing yet awkward. Upon arrival, I slowly and cautiously attempted to get out of the car, instantly I had Maura at my side helping me. She wrapped her hands around my waist. I couldn't help but feel butterflies. I tried to supress them, not wanting to feel anything. The feeling agonising me. She helped to stand against the car whilst she got the wheelchair. This is probably the most demoralising thing I have ever been through. She won't leave me alone now, I won't be able to do anything by myself. So, I must suffer, let her do everything for me, let her shower me, shave me, provide for me. Don't get me wrong I've always wanted to be with Maura, although I never thought it would happen like this. She wheeled me inside and began to speak

"So, you won't be able to get up the stairs so we will sleep in the guest bedroom down here."

We... did I just here we...

"No Maura it's fine. I'll be ok. I can do this by myself. You go upstairs and in your comfortable bed."

"No Jane it's not happening."

She said as she wheeled me next to the couch

"Maura, I can take care of myself, I need my alone time."

"No, because I don't want to find you bleeding on the bathroom floor again, I can't lose you. I need to be here to help you."

Tears filled her beautiful blue eyes and guilt filled my pathetic body. If she knew why I did what I did it would probably kill her. Tears began to fall down my own face. I turned away from her and attempted to wheel myself to the guest bedroom. I closed the door and rolled against it. This way she couldn't open it. I just needed to be alone, I needed to decide what to do. The tears began to roll down faster and faster, saturating my collar. The decision to tell her became the only thought on my mind. I had to, if I wanted to keep fighting I had to tell her. A million other questions flew threw my head. My thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. Janie please I just want you to be ok. I decided to let her in.

"I'm just getting ready for bed" I softly said. Not allowing her to see how upset I was.

"I know you might not want help Janie but I think you'll need it, you don't fully understand how difficult this is going to be for you"

I stood up from the wheelchair and walked to the bed and proceeded to get comfortable.

"See I got this now go up to your own bed, I'll be fine. I can yell really loud so you will know if I need help."

Maura proceeded to leave the room. Maybe she listened to me for once. I tried to get comfortable. Either my stiches would pull on my skin and hurt or they would sting from the way I was laying. I finally found a comfortable position after ten minutes of trying. Suddenly Maura walked back into the room in what is probably the sexiest pyjama set I've ever seen. She didn't say a word and climbed into the bed next to me.

"I got lonely" She said

As I lay there all I could think about was her sexy body. I began to turn myself on just thinking about it. Yet I couldn't do anything about it. All I wanted was for her to do the things. She began to cuddle up to my side, I was as still as a statue.

"What's wrong?" She enquired

"I was having alone time." I had a feeling she thought I was there pleasuring myself.

"Ohhhhhh" Maura said kind of sarcastically, see she is never sarcastic so it's hard to tell

"I wasn't doing what you think I was doing"

"Yeah, yeah sure you weren't. Feel free to keep going don't let me bother you. I find it sexy anyway."

I was beyond shocked to hear that, I opened my mouth but nothing came out.

"Don't looked so shocked, I'm always down for a bit of harmless fun"

"Harmless, you think if we were to have fun it would be harmless? Maura, I have wanted this for so long, I have dreamt about this for as long as I can remember and you just throw that around"

"You say that like I've never thought about it"

"Oh" I replied just quietly. The shock is unreal. She kind of just stared at me with her loving eyes. I am so confused. I just rolled over so I wasn't facing her anymore. So many things are going through my mind. The events of the past few days, the history of myself and Maura. Now what does the future hold for us?