Begging

The Bond

It's been weeks since they've left Crait. Shortly after they escaped on the Millennium Falcon, Leia fell ill, the loss of so many weighing on her heart. She passed peacefully aboard the ship, surrounded by the spark of the Resistance, in peace and purpose.

Before her passing, she spoke to Rey privately, pleading with her to save the one person she couldn't; Ben.

"We failed him," she spoke, holding Rey's hands in between her own, "Kylo Ren is not my son... but you've met my Ben. You saw him and you say he's still there. My darling girl, please save him. No matter what that means to you, please save our boy."

In that moment, Rey had agreed, shaking her head with tears in her eyes and determination in her heart. She promised Leia she would push forward with the resistance, no matter what she had to do. Leia seemed satisfied with that answer and smiled at the girl, before telling her to send in Poe.

Rey stares at her hands now, tracing over the cracks and callouses with her eyes, blocking out the chatter around her. Poe is talking about their next course of action, reaching out to Ally planets, and something about an ambush, but she is barely paying attention, replaying Leia's last words to her, over and over in her head.

"Save our boy."

Of course she had meant her and Han's boy, but Rey couldn't stop thinking about the way she said it, the way her hands tightened on Rey's, and there was a twinkle in her eye, one that can only be described by anyone who had met Leia.

"Our boy," Rey whispers, closing her eyes and inhaling.

"Who?"

Rey starts, closing her hands so suddenly she feels the bite of her nails into her palm.

Finn smiles, leaning in closer to ask again, "Who? Are you thinking about me, again?"

His attempt at lightening the mood makes Rey smile, but she pushes the question away.

"Just something I read in the Jedi Texts," she lies, waving it off, "I believe they were referring to a Master but I may have skipped that part."

Finn nods mock-knowingly and returns his focus to Poe, who's now telling everyone to disperse. Rey had missed the entire meeting. She stands sheepishly, avoiding their new General as she returns to her quarters on The Falcon, where she spends a majority of her time these days. Without Luke or Leia to teach her the ways of the Force or of the Jedi, she spends a lot of her time going over the old Jedi texts and practicing outside of the Falcon, when everyone else is asleep.

She passes Rose on the way up the Falcon's ramp and waves at her, the mechanic dropping the spare parts in her arms to wave back. Rey laughs as Rose scurries to gather the parts again but before she can bend down to help, Rose jumps to her feet and spits out a hushed goodbye before sprinting away. Confused, Rey calls out to her but she's already back inside the base building, the sliding doors clanging behind her.

Chewbacca growl's from the entrance of the Falcon, pulling Rey from her stupor.

"I don't know either," she replies, turning on her heel and entering the ship. Chewie lets out a sympathetic growl as she passes, before returning to his table. Rey enters her quarters and sits on the edge of the bed, once again focusing on her hands. The crisscrossing lines seem to meld together and the callouses are so old, she doesn't think they'll ever go away,. They're just permanent reminders of the life she had on Jakku, and the life she was to lead now, as the only Jedi in the Resistance.

Finn had once caught her staring at her hands and asked what her sudden fascination was, but she had lied, saying that she was fascinated by the Force and her ability to use it. She said it was amazing to know she was able to use a power like that, and while that wasn't a lie, it wasn't why she's been studying her hands recently. She knew the real reason and she would never share it with anyone... she won't even admit it to herself aloud. Just thinking about it, she feels the ghost of his fingertips over hers, warm and soft, protected by years of black leather gloves. Her stomach knots and she closes her fingers, pushing her hands in between her legs to block them from her sight.