East Korean

Chapter 4 ~ Attempts at Suicide

He had dazzling brown eyes, and such an angelic face. I shook my head vigorously, breaking the momentary eye contact with him. He was also quick to get off of me and apologize.

“Miss, I am so sorry,” he got out of the bathtub, and looked away from me obviously embarrassed. “Please wash yourself in warm water too, your body is too cold.”

I sincerely hoped that he was faking his dialect to scare me. I wanted to ask him where I was or learn a little bit more about the situation I was in but I was afraid to talk. He would notice the dialectical variance… and that would not be good. Should I just scream again?

Instead I buried my face in my knees and wept.

“Miss,” he said again. “Miss, you’re shivering. Please shower with the warm water. Miss. Miss! … Aishhh,” he seemed frustrated. He then opened the hot water and poured it on top of me. “Please forgive my rudeness, but I just want to tell you that you are so stupid. Who would go swimming in the ocean at a time like this? Were you trying to suicide? If you were, then that is the stupidest method of suicide I have ever seen.”

Suicide. If I really was where I think I was, suicide is a good option.

He was so clueless. I mustered up the courage to speak at that moment, trying my best to fake his dialect. “Where am I?” I asked. My voice came out coarse and stuttering if it came out at all. It was only after hearing my own voice that I realized how seriously damaged my throat was and how much I was shivering.

“You are a little beyond Mugunghwa street…” he said, obviously assuming I know what country and city I was in.

I let him pour the water onto me for a while I just sat there pensively wondering what’s going to happen to me and how to commit suicide. He then left the bathroom, without saying a word. I still wanted so badly to confirm that I was where I thought I was. I grabbed a shampoo bottle and began to read. I noticed the grammatical variances, the spelling variances. But I also noticed the city of production. Seoul, South Korea.

If I were in North Korea, such a product would not exist. That confirmed it for me. It was time to commit suicide. It was either that, or being jailed in a South Korean prison (where the prison guards, I heard, rape you and torture you before they enforce the death penalty), or starving in the streets because I have nowhere to go. Suicide. I must commit suicide. I suddenly felt cold and I noticed the clothes he left for me. I quickly slipped them on. I know I’m going to die soon, but I might as well die comfortably.

What’s the easiest way to die? I heard that hanging usually works…

I looked around the bathroom and saw the shower curtain rod. The guy has also sensibly given me a belt as that pants he gave me were for men and much to big for my body. I could use that as rope…

I took the belt and I tied it to the rod. I stood up on the side of the tub and tightened the belt around my neck. I was ready to step down when the guy came in. I scowled and looked at the ground.

At first, he looked startled, but then he laughed. Why was he laughing? South Koreans are really terrible people, I thought. I frowned at him and gave him a deathly glare. He leaned casually against the wall as if he was waiting to watch me die. I couldn’t do it with him looking.

“So you are suicidal,” he laughed. “Miss, may I please ask you to not suicide in my home or else I might be suspected of murdering you.”

Was he mocking me? I loosened the belt from my neck, jumped off of the tub and charged at him and began to hit him. How can people be so cold? I hit him hard, but he seemed unaffected by anything I do. I was feeling frail and weak at that time anyways. Stupid South Korean.