I'm here because I want to be.
The burial of my father is over and the grief is like a nasty stain in the air. One of my brothers understands and slams his bedroom door shut behind him, while the other is too young and just wants his dad to give him a big hug. We all do.
The worst part is that I don't know what the last thing I said to him was and it's eating me up. Was I rude? Kind? Horrible? Selfish?
I have gotten back into my normal routine of going to school and spending three nights a week at Oscorp showing interns around and doing my own work. It's helped a lot, everything being the same as it was before. Before. Pain. As I said before, the pain is still there but it's sort of a numb feeling now... occasionally memories will spark and I'll laugh, cry or do both. Sometimes mum will come into my room in the evening with a mug of hot coco and a photo album that show olds photos of young mum and dad. She'll tell me stories and there is always this small smile on her face that grows as she begins to cry, the pasting flashing through her mind.
Graduation is in two months and I want it all to just stop or slow down at least because if I am being honest, I'm really freaking scared. I have received several conditional acceptance letters from various colleges, including a letter from England about an interview I have in a couple of weeks. I don't know whether I should tell Peter, because I don't know where he's at, what he wants to do after graduation or how he sees his future. It's a talk that I'm dreading but I know will have to happen soon. I just hope that... I don't know.
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Popping a chocolate cookie in my mouth, I fall backwards onto the sofa and land on Peter. Score.
"I'm soooooo bored." I say around the cookie in my mouth.
"Really?" Peter says in mock astonishment, turning to look at me.
I roll my eyes and push him with my boots.
"I'll only be another 10 minutes." He replies; eyes glued back on the screen.
I jump up and stroll down the isles of books in the library. This place is usually like a second home for me buuuuuut when it's a Saturday afternoon and you're with your boyfriend, it's not somewhere you would imagine you would be. I skip down altering isles and find myself with a copy of Romeo and Juliet in my hands. I slid down to the floor and kick my legs out in front of me. My dress hitches up my highs a few inches and I tug it down to my mid-thighs.
Opening up the play, I scan the lines until I find the famous "O Romeo, Romeo! wherefore art thou Romeo?" quote and I laugh. However my favourite quote is from this play "These violent delights have violent ends."
I hear footsteps approaching and look up to find Peter with his hand outstretched. I accept graciously and let him pull me to my feet. Once we are both standing I exclaim,
"O Peter, Peter! Wherefore art thou Peter?" and I widen my eyes for emphasis when the librarian pops her head down the aisle and shh's me.
My little nerd grins. "Don't worry, I'll calm this one down." He assures the librarian and rests his hands on my hips once she's gone.
I place the play on his head.
Still smiling, Peter takes the play off his head and dumps it onto a random shelf. I raise my eyebrows.
"Kiss me?" he asks.
"Pfffffft. I thought your laptop was more important." A grin stretches across my face. Traitor.
He leans forward and skims his nose over mine, once then twice. Once his lips are mere centimetres from my lips and my heart is pounding like a panting dog he whispers
"Kiss. Me. Please?" his voice is soft with pleading like he's a little boy asking to open his presents before Christmas day.
I shrug and his lips are on mine in an instant. Heat pours into me and his grip on my hips tighten as I snake my hands around his neck, leaning in more.
"Ahem." A loud voice rings. We jump apart and the librarian stands there with a disapproving look across her face. What? Has she never seen kissing before?
I slip Peter's glasses off his nose and place them on my nose instead. I grab his hand, his fingers thread through mine and once we are at the doors of the library, I turn to the librarian,
"I am very truly, dearly sorry, Ms."
