I am made of half-assed heart beats.
I am composed of the second place love
The almost good enough for you love
The painful love.
My inhales are not me breathing.
I breathe when I explode, though.
When I'm left
Screaming out in pain.
Pain caused by him.
I gasp anxiously
Continuously
Because I am the best friend again.
He just realized that he doesn't want me.
Because I'm not her.
He wants her though.
Abusive can happen over the phone
Abusive can happen on Christmas when he tells you your makeup makes you look like a whore.
And he doesn't love whores
So you redo the makeup
And he calls you an average.
But you take it as a compliment because you know he knows how bad you look without the makeup.
The flashbacks of the this day hit me every night
I still cry out every night
But the six months of time
The six months since he left me
Do not feel real anymore
