What do you do when the person you talk to when your sad is the one making you sad?
What do you do when you are sad because they turned into someone who loves making you sad?
But you keep going back to them when you're sad because they are the one that used to fix you.
Until you realize that they didn't fix you, they just replaced your old pieces with new ones
And then put a monopoly on you
And your new parts
All the parts they put in are indestructible
They cannot shatter
But they have a remote controlled self destructive mode
And the bad man that hurt you threatens you with it.
And, he sometimes forgets the remote is in his pocket and he will suddenly destroy you without even meaning to
But that's not true
Because if he didn't mean to
He wouldn't keep the remote
He wouldn't keep cutting you open
Not allowing you to heal
Because "I'm sorry" must mean something different in his language
Because the way you use "it's okay"
Is like putting a band-aid over gaping open heart surgery and be thankful that the operation went better than it did yesterday
Stockholm syndrome is a gift he gave you
You don't want it
But you know getting rid of it would only hurt him so you keep it around
And hurting him will only cause you more pain
Because unless he is smiling you are being consumed by the blood
Being drowned in the exhale
And by the time you realize how bad it's gotten
It's too late to loosen the noose
It's too late to step off the ledge
You don't remember going up the elevator
But you remember the way he argued with you about your beauty until he got angry enough to stop complimenting you
How you disagrees until he felt unwelcome
You remember how it's your fault it changed
So let yourself fall
And hope he misses you
Once you hit the ground
