He Left Me Alone

43

This time he pulled from the kiss first. But he kept his hands on my face as he stared deep into my eyes. He smiled and put back his hand.

We were back at staring the sky in silence.

“You don’t be sad, okay,” he broke the silence, his eyes were still locked at the sky.

“I will not be sad because of that,” I said.

“I know you won’t.”

I was thinking if I lied. I asked myself what had the letters made me feel. I didn’t know the asnwer. But I was sure it didn’t make me sad.

“I’m going to make them stop,” he said.

“How?”

“You don’t get to know,” he turned to me and smiled. I did, too.

The silence came again. But all the silence between us was the beautiful kind. Because I always liked it. It was more like a statement that we didn’t have to say anything else and we understood.

“You don’t have to worry, okay,” this time I was the one to broke the silence.

“But I have to protect my boyfriend.”

I melted into that but instead, i said, “You have to protect yourself too.”

“I am protecting us.”

He reached for my hand and kept it in his.

“Just trust me,” he squeezed my hand a little too hard. “We are together in this, you know right? And we will get through this together or not at all.”

“I know.”

But one thing I didn’t know was that he wasn’t only talking to me, he was cheering himself up too.

And one thing I hated about him, if there was the thing I hated, was that he made himself sound so sure, that we would fight together. And I hated myself for finding comfort in it and believed.