Everything Feels Wrong

this doesn't taste right

I remember taking a sip of my whiskey and thinking that it tasted off. But it didn't even cross my mind that he could've done anything, because I trusted him. We were friends. He'd promised me a safe place. So I kept drinking it, until I decided that this whiskey wasn't good enough to drink even when it didn't taste weird. I set my drink on the table and sat on the couch, where he was sitting, browsing some website for a movie to watch. I didn't think to remind him that it was getting late and that I had school the next day, because honestly, if my mother had thrown me out without making sure I had a safe place to go, I doubt she'd have cared if I'd shown up for school the next day. I sat down a couple inches away from him. We were friends, and I'd had a tiny crush on him ages ago but it was gone now, and that was all. Everything was okay until he started saying things, trying to get me to come closer to him, telling me that I'm beautiful, telling me that every inch of my body was "pure perfection". It was funny, because all the other girls that I'd heard him say that about were stick thin, and had long hair, the opposite of me. He'd told me once that I'd benefit from losing a couple pounds, but everyone else said that too. Sitting here, though, I was suddenly Aphrodite in his eyes. I didn't know how to react. I felt like I couldn't react, and within seconds of realizing that, I felt my eyelids grow heavy, and my breathing got slower. After that, it was lights out. There are small parts of what happened next that are burned into my head, but the rest, it was like, I wasn't there and it didn't happen to me. I know that there were more horrors to accompany the fragments of memories in my mind, but I couldn't tell you explicitly what happened aside from the few scenes I do remember.