• Here Comes A Thought •

• My Dear Monster In The Mirror •

Every tear that falls down my face
Counts as every painful memory that I can't seem to erase
My pain seems to be amusing to it
The monster in the mirror
It torments my mind with things that couldn't be clearer
I have my flaws and that's all it makes me see
With it around
Nothing in life is easy
✖️
What do I have to do to get it away
I've thrown out all my make up
My beauty is starting to decay
My raw face covered in pimples
The only thing I say I can admire is my dimples
It says it makes me fat
And that my thighs would increase every time I sat
I loathed this monster to death
But I'd cry eternally if it left
There's nothing left to cling to
My times of happiness are through
✖️
I knew I had to say goodbye somehow
To banish it to another land
But every time I almost did
I ended up crying into my hands
But who am I to banish it
Maybe I'm the monster
Maybe I'm the criminal
And it's just the officer
The officer doing its job
To help me understand
That I should change who I am
Before my humanity is banned
✖️
I face the mirror, tears in my eyes
Be yourself
No more smiles will be denied
Fresh air invaded my nose
The mirror starts to shatter
Out the monster goes
Or so I thought
✖️
The monster has changed
I now stand in the mirror
Wait, I put myself down?
No, this has to go deeper
But every move I make
The current reflection follows
My hand shatters the mirror
Taking action on my sorrows
Why did I do this
I was perfect who I was
Better than anyone
Better than what everyone else does
Why was I to change back
It's not like I'm special
Thoughts swirled in my head
I was surely going mental
✖️
Memories flooded back
Memories of when I wasn't so broken
Memories of my smile
But now even that has been taken
The world is the monster
It surely isn't me
It's making me do this
It's making me who I'm trying to be
I was nice and kind
But friends stabbed me in the back from behind
It's like I never mattered
I should be okay
The monster has been slaughtered
✖️
Internally
Mentally
I'm losing my mind
I could really use someone right now
But that's very hard to find
My vision falters to the mirror
This couldn't have been clearer
✖️
I've shattered
I've broken
The truth has for too long gone unspoken
I am the monster
I have hurt myself
Yet I was there
When there was no one else
Was the old me not so bad?
My laugh and my giggle
I miss them dearly, but I am too sad
To my dear monster in the mirror
I'm sorry for being so bad
✖️
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Author's Note:
My first published poem for this book! Let the journey of deep and confusing feelings begin.