satin n silk | urban

4

"Niggas will lose they mind for it

Wine for it, dine for it--pussy"

jamari's fine asssss in da media

a/n: pls don't grill me ik i been slacking school been kicking my ass and ap classes really ain't no joke.  but thx to my few readers for actually fw this. it makes my heart warm bc it makes me think my writing ain't that garbage lol. luv y'all ! 💜

k e r e t t a

Things never really went good in my life for too long. When it came to niggas I didn't even try to get my hopes up. That's kinda why I wasn't too pressed over Jamari. Yes he was fine and yes he was really nice...

I just couldn't do it. We hadn't spoke in the last few days so I could distance myself.  It was becoming too much.

Deep down inside I felt horrible.  He was really growing on me.  I'd gotten so used to him in my life but that was the problem.

He was the problem. 

"Bitch what do you mean you cutting him off?" My cousin Yasmin shook her head at me from across the table.

We currently sat at Wendy's, eating and getting on each other's nerves. I could hardly enjoy my 4 for 4 because she was staring at me so hard.

Like damn bitch, can I have my face back?

She always encouraged me to stop being in my own way but I never listened. I hated that she knew me better than I knew myself. It was scary.

"I mean I'm cutting him off." I said with slight attitude.

She noticed and tossed a fry at my head, causing me to look up and roll my eyes. Yasmin held a look of disappointment. It lowkey broke my heart.

I still wasn't gon' change my mind though. Dick wasn't that serious and I could always find new dick. Jamari isn't even going to trip when I dip. He's young and has a lot going for himself. He'll be going to college and meeting tons of bitches.  I'm nothing special.

At least I hoped I wasn't.

"Girl even though you swear y'all just be fucking, I can tell there's more to this.  You don't even notice the  gleam in yo' eyes when you speak on him.  It's more than sex sis." 

I rolled my eyes as Yasmin continued to grill me.  

She might've been right but I wasn't going to let her know that.  I barely understood what was going on my damn self.  It all happened so fast.

We met, fucked and kept fucking.  I stopped wanting sex so much and started wanting a connection.  Of course that didn't mean there was an elimination of the dick all together.  He had that have-a-bitch-in-the-bushes loving that I couldn't give up.

That was until today.

"Okay girl if you say so.  You can't even give a valid reason for why.  It looks like you done caught feelings and don't know how to admit it.  Ima let you rock out for now."  Yasmin said before she sipped her drink.