We're Still Human (Confessions of a Grocery Store Clerk)

2: You'd Never Know

I cried that day. That is the only time a customer has made me cry. You know why? Because she called me, of all things, a “Fucking retard” because I was doing my job, and I was doing it based on what she wanted me to do. I legitimately did what she THOUGHT she wanted and it still wasn’t right. Thanks, lady. That was amazing. Just, legitimately, wtf?

I had to send my customers over to the next lane so I could shut down mine and take a breather. I got to talk to my boss and the day’s CSR (customer service rep). You know what I found out?

People are ASSHOLES.

Nicole*, the CSR, had been called a BOATLOAD of names. All terrible things. One of them: some autistic kid (yes, I understand he can’t understand everything he’s doing. I also understand that his parents didn’t do anything about this), but he started throwing powdered donuts at her and calling her a “Nazi bitch”.

The MOD (manager of departments, or something like that, I’m not entirely sure. He’s pretty much the manager of the front end, aka the cashiers and baggers and whatnot) apparently had a customer who he was bagging for years ago, who wanted paper bags. Okay. Completely doable. So he bags everything in paper. Except the milk. And that was apparently an issue, because two minutes after they leave, this guy comes back in, screaming at him, “You’re the asshole that didn’t bag our groceries in paper!”

Well then. Tell us how you really feel, why don’t you? So, my manager calmly explained that he did bag his groceries in paper, to which the guy replied, rather irate, “Not the milk!” or something along those lines. So my manager walked him out of the store and back to his car, and let him leave without saying much else.

Don’t be an abusive customer. I kid you not. Don’t be rude. Don’t be an ass or a bitch or whatever. If you are having a bad day, suck it up for the two minutes it takes to get you through the line. One minute if the cashier has a bagger, half a minute to a minute if you’re going through speedzone. And these are the face-to-face time estimates. Is it really that hard to suck it up for such a short amount of time? Okay, granted, not all cashiers are very . . . ‘friendly’ . . . I don’t blame you if you want to return the favor. But if your cashier is smiling and obligatory . . .

Don’t be an asshole. Seriously. We get very little pay and we work long hours. When I first started, my feet hurt because you’re just standing for so damn long. You don’t get to sit down. Where I work, you don’t even get to keep water at the register. If you’re thirsty, you have to wait for when you don’t have a customer and go over to the water fountain.

We don’t get paid enough to deal with the people who are complete and utter jerks day in and day out. But we still do it. We stand there day in and day out and we work to smile at every customer and be friendly, even if we just lost someone in the family. With most of us, you’d never know anything was wrong.

Today, one of our CSR’s (Customer Service Representative) had a funeral to attend. But you’d never know it looking at her face. She left for less than an hour to attend and came back.

She. Came. BACK. She didn’t get to take the whole damn day off. She kept working. And you’d never know it. I felt terrible for her. She’s a sweet lady and she works her ass off, even when she had to sit there and be reminded that someone she cared about is no longer here.

I dare you to imagine what it’d be like to do this for a day. To stand there when you are in the worst mood, but still smile, greet people, even when some of them are moody themselves, and act like you’re just fine.

It’s hard. You deal with some real jerks some days. Thankfully, at least where I work, a good chunk of the customers are wonderful. They smile back. And it becomes a little easier to get through the day. It’s definitely nice to spend the day with people who are in a good mood. The ones who aren’t a good mood, though?

They’re absolute hell to deal with. And I can’t tell you how often we talk about the worst customers we’ve ever had to deal with. I kid you not. As employees, we rant to each other about annoying, irritating, flat-out frustrating and infuriating customers.

We also talk about our favorite customers. Do you really want to be on the first list?