All the light we cannot see

Anger

After about an hour spent with the girl of my dreams she was readying to leave. She had cleaned my wounds, applied bandages and cleansed my soul of darkness, she had also whipped the curtains opened and drowned the room in light as if physically manifesting her emotional affect on me. Over the course of the hour we had talked about nothing and everything, home life, school life, it turns out she was one of those super genius people that drop out of school early because they finish their exams before anyone else has started and she was now training to be a nurse. I had told her I was in my final year at school. Interesting right? Somehow words seemed to evade me in her presence, it's like all the words in my head were too busy being distracted by her beauty to be able to form a sentence despite my pleading with them to. We talked about family, how my dad had disappeared since the incident, she said her dad had left when she was very young. Finally we talked about friends, or our lack thereof, neither of us were particularly sociable, I was introverted and she was simply busy with work most of the time.
She had put everything back in her little case and sealed it, she picked it up and I started to panic, this  is the most sociable I've been in years and I loved it, I loved her presence, I wasn't ready for this all to disappear but she was walking, walking towards the door and my hands began to sweat, my heartbeat sped up and my eyes darted around the room looking for an excuse for her to stay. None appeared.
"Do you wanna do something on Saturday!?"
I said too loud and too fast, I just had to get it out. She stopped in her tracks and turned around, that same sly smile gracing her lips.
"I thought you'd never ask"
What better response could I get than that? We exchanged numbers and I said thank you before walking her out the door, the nerves had turned into excitement, a new sense of passion imbued in my body at the possibility of Saturday. I decided to use my passion for my hobby- mixed martial arts. I put on my kit and left the house with almost a skip in my step.
I entered the gym and bowed to my teacher
"Louie!" Boomed his hearty, masculine voice "it's been long enough! Let's get you in the ring and see what you remember!"
"Ok Neil, lemme get ready I'll be 10, gotta warm up" I replied, finding it hard not to smile at seeing him again. As I placed my bag down I heard a ding from inside and reached to check my phone, a text from Lauryn, already!? The possibilities flew through my head before I could stop them, would she be happy about today, maybe making a suggestion for Saturday, maybe saying how much she enjoyed seeing me, I canned the loose thoughts in my head and replaced them with a bad thought, maybe she's cancelling. The benefit of predicting a bad text is that I'm either right or pleasantly surprised, one of my mantras about the benefit of pessimism. I opened my phone and read the text
Lauryn - I just thought I should mention now, so there are no crosses wires, that I have a boyfriend but would be more than open to obtaining a friend 😊.
Something tweaked in my neck and a flow of cold blood went down my spine, how could I be so stupid? look at her, of course she has a boyfriend. She was stunning for Christ's sake! Subconsciously a flow of anger seeped through me and the extremities of my vision darkened with a red tint. I dropped my phone and stood up striding to the ring to face my opponent already in there. Neil held the rope apart so I could enter between the top and middle rope but I ignored him and leapt over the top rope using my hands to support myself over.
Neil took a step back and announced "take it easy on him, he's been away for a long time star" star? It came back to me, Neil always used to call me star or young P, he called me his young prodigy from my skill in the ring. "I will don't worry" I spoke but was interrupted from a laugh erupting from my opponent
"He was talking to me newbie" he said through a grin and I turned to see Neil facing down slightly. What the fuck has happened since I left. "FIGHT" Neil yelled to cut the tension and I ran to the centre of the ring before jumping off my left foot and bringing my right hand down on the outside of his face, clearly he wasn't expecting it as his block never raised. He stumbled back and looked up with a glint in his eye. This is what I needed a way to vent this anger building up inside. He made a quick step forward to me and followed it with a jab from his right that I stepped out of, faster still, he followed with a hook from his left but I saw it coming and ducked underneath it. Time seemed to slow as I moved, I was fast, I looked up and saw the punch flying over my head and I saw the fear in his eye, I raised on the outside of the punch to see he put way too much force into it and the momentum carried his fist to his right hip. This was it, he had no chance to block. I kicked the back of his left knee and he fell to a proposing stance, I pivoted off my left leg and brought my right knee through his jaw and he was unconscious before he hit the floor. This was my ring.
Neil rushed in to check his pulse and stand him up, dragging him out of the ring
"How the star has fallen!" I cried for all in the gym to hear. I may be psychotic but I felt much better after that, two hits and he was out, not much of a star, I picked up my phone and replied.
Louie - don't get any ideas! I never asked you out in the first place!
My heart sunk a little as I sent the text but I guess I just felt differently about her than she did about me.