All the light we cannot see

Acceptance

I had chosen a park to be a good place to go to meet Lauryn, not too much like a date and perfect for having ample time to talk. Thank god my mood had flipped from this morning at the bar to now.
I walked with both headphones in and my backpack on filled with snacks and a blanket in case we needed lunch. Volcano by Damien rice played on full volume and cut out the outside world for a while as I mentally prepared myself to spend the whole day being sociable; even if it was with someone who seems so amicable, it does take some effort to wear a mask of happiness for the day.
I was dragged from my thought by a right hand looping over my right shoulder from behind, my brain acted fast, I've trained for situations like this. I slid my right foot back, pushing theirs also and setting them off balance before pulling their hand right and sliding backwards so I ended up behind their back rather than vice versa. I then pulled their hand back behind their back, holding them in a tension position. My nose was tickled by their hair before I could question them, their golden hair, beautiful, flowing hair... I pulled out one ear phone and sounds crashed into me, children screaming whilst playing in the park, parents shouting, dogs barking but more importantly a familiar girls voice laughing. Fuck. Fuck. I dropped her arm and she turned to face me, I braved myself to be berated by her but the world went still as our eyes connected yet again. The ocean of her eyes meeting the oak of mine, sea and land, opposites that attracted beyond any reasonable comprehension. Her lips parted but words flowed out of mine.
"I'm so sorry! I had no idea it was you! I couldn't hear, I had my earphones in and you just startled me, I'm so so sorry, did I hurt you?" I begged forgiveness like a child caught in the cookie jar
"I had no idea you were a fighter" she ignored my apology
"Umm, yeh few years of it by now"
"Well I know for next time then" her lips spread into that Cheshire Cat smile of hers.

We spent hours together, we talked and laughed and I learned everything about her, we did the classics: favourite animal, colour, song, hobby. She tried to teach me some of her yoga with the promise I'd teach her how to punch and I can honestly say, it was the best day I can remember. She lay me down flat in a press-up position on the grass, it was slightly damp and my hands slid a little as they accepted the weight of my body on them. Lauryn asked me to arch my back downwards and pull my head up to look at the sky. Genuinely confused by the instructions, I asked her to show me how but she did me one better; she placed one hand below half way down my back and the other on my chest, she pushed down on my back and pulled up on my chest and I stretched my arms out to push my chest off the floor and look up at the clouds.
"There you got it!" She cried, oddly elated by my small achievement.
Her hand lingered on my lower back for a while and I was determined not to let my arms quiver under the strain of my weight out of fear that she'd move her hand, but alas she did anyway and I felt her finger tips drag slightly and pull at my top as she removed herself from beside me.
I glanced over to where she was and was met with the sight of her, sat cross legged on the grass leaning back slightly onto her arms behind her with her face drenched in evening sunlight. Her dress danced lazily, caught in a passing breeze and her hair was pulled out from behind her ear and dropped across her face.
Her lips parted and curled to reveal her seemingly ever present smile. An infectious smile that passed from her lips to mine, I blushed and ran my hand through my hair and looked away but I could still see that she had her eyes on me and her smile turned into an inquisitive frown. Her thumb traced a scar across my temple.
"What's this from?" She pried
"Um, uh I think, maybe I fell?" I lied. If I told her about my father and his raging drunk tendencies I'd probably put her off. But she wasn't buying this story.
"Too proud to admit someone beat the great Louie in a fight are we?" She giggled
"Haha" a sardonic laugh dropped like acid from my lips. "you see right through me don't you Lauryn"
"I'm getting there" she retorted and her hand dropped from my temple landing on the grass a few inches from my own hand. How I longed to slide mine forward and connect with the heat from her. Just slide my hand into hers and see how she reacted, see if she wanted what I wanted. But no, she has a boyfriend.
"You're not going to tell me how it actually happened?" She pressed deeper.
"It's more of an over-dinner conversation I'd say" I said it as a throwaway comment, not expecting a real answer...