All the light we cannot see

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Lauryn's POV
After sending the text I felt a twang of emotion, I don't know what it was though, it couldn't have been regret? I loved my boyfriend... LOVE I mean I love my boyfriend. He has his faults but as does everyone. There's no reason for me to want Louie, I'm in a relationship, the majority of which is happy, I mean Louie may be better looking and have a voice like melted dark chocolate but Harry... but Harry what? Harry makes me laugh, I guess? Almost as if my thoughts had conjured him into being his car was parked in the drive of my house. I pulled up and hopped out, opening the front door where he was waiting for me.
"Where have you been?" He asked a little harshly but I figure I just imagined that
"I was working?" I replied a little hesitantly
"I went to the hospital and you weren't there" he retorted matter of factly
"I was a home call" beginning to feel interrogated here
"Boy or girl"
"Does it matter Harry? It's my job, and you went to the hospital? Were you checking up on me?"
"I just get worried!" He raised his voice and I felt myself cower a little, I so wanted to argue this right now about how I've given him no reason to worry, I'm faithful but as I thought it the sight of Louie's eyes entered my mind and I lost my train of thought. Those eyes, eyes I could stare into for hours and travel the world without leaving my position, those eyes that released butterflies that were caged when I was with Harry. This had to stop. He had to get out of my head and yet I was seeing him in two days, leading me to another problem... do I tell Harry and risk him telling me I can't go or do I go behind his back?
"Let's go out Saturday?" Harry broke me from my thoughts
"Uhh umm I have an appointment. Sorry" fuck fuck fuck I shouldn't have lied but he put me on the spot and I could really connect with Louie, I didn't want this to be shut down before it could start, he could be a really good friend. Despite the feeling he gives me when our eyes connect... he was clearly broken but so perfect. The fact I miss his presence, his voice and his smell... one of those smells you can't locate but that masculine smell that makes me swoon is a bad sign. But it's ok because clearly, he had no intentions of taking us any further than friends from his text. Which obviously is a good thing, I'm in a relationship.
I was jolted from the thought of Louie's eyes by the sound of the front door closing, Harry had left abruptly, clearly annoyed I had turned down his request. I didn't have the patience to deal with that right now though. I leant my back against the hallway wall and slumped down to sit on my heels, the tennis ball sized lump in my throat and the burning sitting behind my eyes promised me what was to come and shortly after followed through as tears began to flow down my cheeks. The relationship with Harry was imperfect at best, he was controlling, - but he played it off as 'caring' - jealous - but he called it 'loving' and his suggestion at turning our relationship into an open one had effectively pushed me away from him. He is not a good boyfriend but this is comfortable, its safe and right now I need safe.