When Two Worlds Split

Apart

"No," I murmured.

"It's not what it sounds like-"

"It is! We've been together for so long, and you bother to tell me this now?!" I yelled.

"Shh, shh... Peggy, they could hear you."

"I don't ca-" I was mid scream, but he covered my mouth with his lips.

He released from me, his breath unsteady.

"It was arranged. I had no choice." He finished, holding me.

"No choice..." I narrowed my eyebrows at him.

I felt tears leaking from my eyelids. The hue of the room gave me a sense of warmth, but it was lined with regret and sadness as he explained.

"Don't cry, mi amour." He neared me, holding me in his arms again.

I felt myself fall apart, even though I was being protected from my feelings by the one who caused them.

"I didn't mean to fall for you." He said, avoiding eye contact.

"This was all a mistake, then." I spat, through my tears.

"No, no. I don't regret it. As long as I could be with you..." Lafayette said, running his hands through my hair to calm me down.

"I feel like I've been your prostitute this whole time."

"No."

"Then why did we do that? The stormy night?"

"Because I love you. And we could never get married. But I.." He caught his breath. Was he crying.

"I'd like to think we are," I finished for him.

"Right." He said, his face buried in my hair.

"What's her name?" I broke the silence.

"I don't even know. She's the daughter of another powerful French aristocrat." He said, thinking of his home.

"She sounds so much better than me." I sighed, leaning into his bare chest.

"She's not. No one compares to you, Peggy."

"I don't know if I can say the same anymore, for you." I murmured.

"Nothing will be the same."

"But I still love you, you know?" I said, looking up at him.

"I know." He looked down at me as he spoke.
Then, as a reminder that he felt the same way, he kissed me.
His warmth enveloped me, as his arms tightened around me. It all came back to me.
It didn't matter if he was married.
I didn't care.
I loved him, and no one could ever change my mind, no matter what they may have said.
My hair fell over his shoulders, as he pulled me up to his eye level.
He flipped over on top of me. His weight on top of mine nearly broke the mattress. I quickly reached over and turned the kerosene lamp off.

________

Loud knocks on the door awoke us both.

"Lafayette!" The low voice pierced the room.

"Peggy, hide!" Lafayette whispered to me, startled.

I mumbled a curse word under my breath, using the scratchy blanket to cover myself.
I rolled off of the bed, sliding underneath it.

I kept my breath low, as Lafayette stood up and slid his clothes back on.

Drafts of cold air slid through the cracks in the floor, making my skin crawl.

The door slid open.
It was someone I hadn't known, from his voice.

"Steuben!" Lafayette said, zipping his pants up.

"Marquis." Stueben's Prussian accent shot through the room.

"What's the matter?" Lafayette asked.

"You were late to parol."

"What?"

"Yes. Why?"

"I had letters to write last night. I must have overslept due to the lack of rest."

"Hmm. Well then," Steuben tapped his foot on the floor. I felt the floorboards shake beneath me.
"That's quite hard for me to believe." He continued. "I heard some strange noises that I believe came from your room."

"My, what do you mean?"

"Nothing, nothing- there aren't any women in camp, correct?" Stueben questioned.

"No, sir."

Stueben began to walk around the room. His footsteps echoed underneath the bed. I closed my eyes as he neared me.
He leaned over, picking up the bundle of clothes on the floor. My clothes- I mean, that poor boy's I stole those clothes from, clothes.
I managed to get a glance at his face.
A stocky man, with a white wig on. He was slightly overweight.

"Are these yours, Marquis?"

"No, sir." Lafayette said. I could hear the embarrassment in his voice.

"Ah, don't worry, boy. Your homosexual romances by night are of no concern to me."

"Sir, I have no interes-"

"I know your feelings. You're not the only one in this camp who has high interests in the other  soldiers." Steuben gave out a hearty laugh. I couldn't believe my ears.

"Sir, I do not partake in such actions, though I have no specific hate towards the subject."

"Whatever you say, General Lafayette. Anyways, be at lunch by high noon." He left, chuckling.