Firewatch {Sans x Reader}

Day 71

"What are you doing today?" I say, breaking the radio silence that had settled in over the last week.
     "i'm going fishing in jonesy," Sans replies instantaneously.
     "Well, have fun," I reply. Sans doesn't answer.

I sigh and set my walkie back on the charger.
     "hey, uh..." Sans says. I rush to pull it back off.
     "Yeah?"
     "what are the rules on going to other towers?"
      I feel my blood run cold at his words. Thoughts of Blake flash into my head no matter how hard I try to push him out. Blake, at least, had waited longer before asking this last summer, but he had been pushy and persistent. And despite the fact I reported him for harassment last summer, he was back; let off with just a warning.
     Sans brushes off his question, likely unnerved by my silence. "never mind."
     "It's against the rules. You can't go to another tower," I answer shortly. It comes out harsher than intended.
     "uh, okay," he says. I stuff my radio back on the charger and stand up from my chair.

I find myself pacing around the fire finder, lost in thought. Sans and Blake are so similar it's almost scary, yet they're so different. I rub my hands together anxiously before walking to the door of my lookout. I grab my radio and stuff it into my pocket.
     I quickly rush down the stairs of my lookout, feeling suffocated by the small room I had been in all summer.

I make the short walk down to Thorofare lake and sit down at a picnic table. The same one I sat at when I met Sans' family. I think back to Papyrus and Frisk and how sweet they were to me. A wave of remorse hit me like a slap in the face. I fumble to pull the radio out of my pocket.

"I'm sorry," I say.
     "Sorry for what, baby?" Blake's voice rings through the radio.
     I look down at the channel dial and notice that it's set to Blake's channel. I must've bumped it when I shoved it into my pocket.
     "Wrong channel," I mumble before clicking to Sans'.
     "Hold on, baby doll," Blake blurts out. I roll my eyes and switch it back.
     "What?" I growl.
     "I haven't talked to you all summer. What have you been up to? Trainin' that new guy?" Blake questions.
     "None of your damn business," I say before clicking off his channel again.

"Sans?" I ask, uncertainly eyeing the channel dial.
     "yeah, [y/n]?" Sans' smooth, deep voice rings out. A smile tugs the corners of my mouth at the sound of it.
     "I'm sorry," I spill. "Last summer I--"
     "you don't have to tell me, [y/n]. it's okay."
     "You deserve to know why I got upset," I say. "I... I shouldn't have gotten mad at all."
     "[y/n], really, it's fine," he says shortly. "i honestly don't even care."
     I stare at my radio for a second before saying a quick, "okay."

I feel tears sting at my eyes and threaten to spill over when I hear Papyrus' loud voice coming around the bend.
     "MAYBE SANS' RADIO FRIEND WILL BE HERE AGAIN!"
     "Don't get your hopes up Papyrus, she's probably off doing her job," Frisk warns.
     I quickly wipe away the tears that had slid down my face.
     "Oh, there she is!" Toriel says as the trio come into view. I flash a fake smile at them.
     "Hey guys!"
     "Sorry I didn't let you eat with us last time! I didn't realize you were an employee here at the park," Toriel apologizes quickly.
     "Oh, that's alright. I wouldn't want to eat with some stranger in the park either," I say, brushing off her apology. "Are you guys here to stay with Sans again?" My chest aches when I say his name.
     "NOPE! WE CAME TO ENJOY THE WILDLIFE THIS TIME!" Papyrus exclaims. "LAST TIME WE SPENT ALL OUR TIME IN SANS' TOWER."
     "We're camping this time." Frisk informs me. I smile at them.
     "July is a good time to go camping," I advise, "it's the perfect temperature."
     "It really is," Toriel replies with a nod of approval.

Papyrus and Frisk sit themselves down at my table across from each other. Papyrus sits next to me. Toriel walks over with a large picnic basket and sets it at the end.
     "You don't mind if we eat with you, do you?" She asks politely. I shake my head.
     "No, not at all."
     She sits down next to Frisk and starts unpacking their basket before looking at me again.
     "Are you not eating? You're most certainly welcome to have some of our lunch. There's plenty!"
     "I'm fine," I reply. "I already ate."
     It was a lie, but I really wasn't feeling up to eating.

"So, are you guys going to visit," my throat goes dry. I swallow hard, "Sans at all while you're here?" Frisk nods vigorously.
     "WE'LL SEE HIM RIGHT BEFORE WE LEAVE. WE HAVE TO PASS HIS LOOKOUT TO GET BACK TO OUR CAR," Papyrus explains. 
     I nod before standing up. "I should get back to my tower," I say, pulling myself away from the picnic table.
     "Don't feel like you have to leave because of us," Toriel says. I shake my head.
     "I have work to do anyway." Another lie.
     "Will we see you again, miss?" Frisk asks.
     "We might run into each other again before you leave," I tell them with a forced smile.

I walk briskly away from the happy family and towards my tower. Hot tears streamed down my face as I rush up the stairs. I pull my radio out of my pocket and drop it down on my desk before moving over to my bed and curling up under the covers in the fetal position.
     I felt like I had ruined my relationship with Sans, getting upset over nothing. Blake really ruined me last summer and now it was finally crashing down on me. And talking with Blake today had really put a damper on my mood.
     I pull my thin sheets up over my head when a knock sounds at my door. I push them back down to see Blake standing there. I roll my eyes and stand up, flattening my hair as I walk over to him.
     I put my hand on the deadbolt and stare him in the eyes while I lock it.
     Blake jiggles the handle before giving up and looking at me with puppy dog eyes. He holds up a makeshift bouquet of wildflowers to the window and rests his forehead against one of the panes. I reach for the string attached to the blinds and he knocks on the window.

"Let me in, doll," he says softly. Hot tears fall down my face replacing the dried ones. I wished Sans was standing outside my door, not Blake.
     "Hey, don't cry. What's wrong, [Y/N]?"
     I shake my head and pull the string, letting the blinds fall and shield me from Blake's face. I start back over to my bed when Blake moves to the next window and knocks.
     "I just want to talk to you. About what a jerk I was. I've changed, I promise."
     "You're not allowed to be over here," I reply, my voice breaking. "Just go back to your tower."
     "I'm not gonna leave you like this doll," he says. The tears fall faster and I find myself gasping for air.
     "J-Just go away, Blake," I say, sitting down on the floor next to the firefinder. "I don't want to talk to you."

Blake tries the door again.
     "[Y/N]." I hear his head knock against the door as he rests in on the glass. "I want to make sure you're okay."
     "I would be if you just left me alone!" Blake didn't speak again.

After a few minutes, I stand up and walk over towards the door. Dried tears streak down my face but I don't bother to wash them away. I move over to my desk again, gathering up the courage to grab the radio.
     "I really am sorry," I say.
     "it's fine," Sans voice rings out. His anger seems to have subsided but it doesn't help relieve the pit in my stomach. He sounds emotionless now.

Sans doesn't say anything else. I put the radio back on the charger. Hiccups form from my relentless crying, causing my chest to sting along with every other part of my body. I trudge back over to my bed again and curl up. Tears run horizontally across my face, getting in my eye. I don't make any moves to wipe them away.