The Comfort Of Being Strangled

December 23, 2017

I woke up in a bed that wasn't mine; my best friend sleeping beside me. Her black hair spread out along the pillows. It was 6:30 and the sun had hardly made its glow visible through the windows. My friend awoke shortly after me, dully gazing at me. She asked for the time, I handed her the iPhone that I had been playing games on. Today was the first day of our sleepover~~~

It was around 13:30 when my friend began to take videos of me on her phone. I walked around doing silly things as she recorded me for the amusement of others. I grabbed a belt and wrapped it around my neck in a joking manner. I slung the belt around a bedpost, creating an imitation noose. As I tilted my head backwards the belt wrapped around my neck loosely; it was far from realistic. I leaned forward, this time the belt tightened against my neck, strangling me momentarily. I laughed for about two seconds before the world became desolate and black. My mind conjured pictures in my head as if I were merely taking a nap. The hallucinations were joyful and lasted for what felt like an hour. In reality I had been strangling myself for 20 seconds before I opened my eyes and the hallucinations stopped. I took the belt off of my neck, standing up, dizzy. I looked to my friend who stared at me, laughing. I couldn't comprehend the event that had just taken place.

I passed out

You did? I thought I saw you, I watched your head go limp but I thought that was a joke!

My friend laughed. I was perplexed.

December 24, 2017

I don't completely understand what happened when I slung the belt around my neck and my eyes closed for that brief 20 seconds. Now that I have experienced this, I find it comforting to know that I would die peacefully if I chose to commit suicide via noose. Although i'm not suicidal, I am curious. Curious to know what happens after the dreams and hallucinations stop. I am curious to know if there is anything after death. My curiosity will one day get the best of me; as it does in most situations. My lack of self control will most likely be the cause of my suicide.

In closing, I enjoyed the feeling of death for that brief 20 seconds. The dreams, (although I can't particularly remember them) were pleasant.