The Letter

The Letter |Ch. 21

That evening, I decided it was best to go home and hide my bruised face from Jake's parents.

Thankfully, Derek was drunk, and he couldn't walk a few feet without stumbling over. So I quickly got passed him and ran up to my room, locking the door behind me.

Although it was only 8:00PM, I was dead tired. Just as I was about to set my iPhone down on the bedside table, it rang and Jake's name lit the screen.

I answered the call and brought the phone to my ear. "You literally just dropped me off. Do you miss me already?," I said in a joking manner with a smile.

"I just couldn't go a second without hearing your voice," he said in an exaggerated high pitch tone, which made me giggle.

"Seriously, what do you want?"

"Wow, it seems someone's annoyed by me. Shall I hang up?," he said sarcastically.

"Jake! You know what I meant! What is it?"

He laughed. And may I say his laugh is the nicest sound I've ever heard. It's manliness and vibration sent a shiver down my spine.

"Would you like to skip school with me tomorrow?"

As much as I liked the idea, I knew I had to go back to school one day... but this proposal intrigued me.

"To... uh, g-go where?," I stuttered.

"I still owe you a first date, don't I?"

My cheeks reddened at the mention of a date. Our last attempt at going out somewhere ended with us getting kidnapped. But I didn't know he thought of it as a date.

Actually, I like the sound of that. I'm going on a date with Jake. He wants to take me on a date.

"Uh, um... yeah, yeah you do. So where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

"Spill it!" My smile grew wider on my face. He knows me perfectly and how curious I am.

He chuckled at the other end of the line before adding, "All I can tell you is that for one night, you don't have to wear makeup, you don't have to dress fancy, or do your hair. Tomorrow night, you don't have to care about anything. You can forget the past and move on with the future. Just let go, for one night, alright? Promise?"

My blush now spread over every inch of my skin, I nodded, before remembering we weren't in the same room. And I still wasn't answering him.

"I, uh, yes. Yes, I promise... so do I wear sweatpants?"

"You're doing it again! Stop worrying, wear what you want! I don't care, you're beautiful either way."

Isn't he a gentleman.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going to sleep now, so see you tomorrow," I said, not believing one thing he was telling me.

"Ok, but one last thing before you go; take the compliments I give you, because I mean them. Goodnight."

I stared absentmindedly at the floor with an idiotic smile on my face.

"Yeah, goodnight," I said before ending the call.

Needless to say I barely slept that night. He was on my mind, and I just couldn't stop thinking about the things he said to me. I'd never met someone so honest and caring before.

And every single thing he did had an effect on me. Every little detail like the sound of his laugh or the way he smiles. Anything and everything about him is just... perfect.

This is more than a crush...

****

The next day, I woke up around 10:30AM and Derek was already gone. Where? I didn't know. And frankly, I didn't care. I had the whole day to get ready by myself.

I know what you're thinking; Jake told me NOT to put much thought in how I looked today, but honestly, that only made me more self-conscious. What if he thinks I look fat? Or ugly without makeup? I can't wear baggy clothes! And my hair... that's the worst part.

My natural hair makes me look like a blonde poodle. I have to straighten it. Or at least do something. I can't just ignore my ugliness because a guy told me to.

I slipped on my black leggings and navy blue Hollister hoodie before plugging my straightener into the wall for it to warm up while I had breakfast.

When I walked into the kitchen, the stench of alcohol and smoke hit me like a brick to the face. I hate Derek so much.

After making myself a bowl of Fruit Loops, I went back upstairs to eat in my room since I couldn't stand the horrible smell of the first floor.

As I passed in front of the mirror in my room, I stopped to examine myself. My bruise didn't look any better. It looked worst, actually. The area on my face where Sarah had punched me was a barely obvious mix of brown and purple. I sighed, brushing my fingers over my jaw.

I wish I was one of those popular and pretty girls everyone loves. I wish I wasn't an outcast, someone they all forget, or didn't realize existed. I wish I wasn't invisible, that my existence made a difference in this world. I wish I had friends who cared about me. I wish I was smart and good in school. I wish I wasn't such a bother to everyone around me. I wish my best friend hadn't given up on me. I wish I hadn't lost my parents. I wish my family back in Scotland loved me. I wish I wasn't stuck with an alcoholic and abusive step dad. I wish to be something. Something that has a meaning and isn't here, on earth, just to... be here. I wish I hadn't had this terrible past and forever lasting memories. But most of all, I wish I wasn't here.

I wish the day I was handcuffed at the shack in the middle of the woods, I wouldnt've tried to escape. I wish Emily would've killed me. Or anyone for that matter. Why am I here, alive? To relive and remember every single detail of my past? The nightmares, flashbacks, thoughts...

I can't take it anymore. Why keep going when you know no matter what you do, where you are or who you're with, your past follows you? It's there forever, to remind you how fucked up you are. To remind you the world is a cruel place, and you have to stay here. I don't want to stay here...

Hellaw! Srry 4 not updating earlier! I had a project 2 finish nd that took up my whole evening yesterday :c I think I might put this book on hold soon cuz exams are coming up and studies come before writing. Tell me what you think about it in the comments? If 2 many ppl don't want it on hold, I won't do it. Thanks loves! :*