Enemy within

{Chapter 9}

Kensi's POV

All I could hear as I sat in Deeks hospital room was the sound of the respirator, that was keeping him alive, beeping every few seconds. The longer I sat in the room starring at him the louder the beeping seemed to get. He wasn't the tough, energetic and witty Deeks that I had come to love, he looked vulnerable, ailing but mainly he looked dead and that terrified me.

Every second I spent in this room just gave me an overwhelming amount of memories about me and Deeks. I couldn't help but think about the first time we met, and how crazy it made me feel every time he looked at me and gave me his signature grin. Or the first time he kissed me, and how warm, passionate and tender the kiss was.

The longer I sat in here, the more upset and angry I became. This was my fault, I had become weak and emotionally involved in the case, I had let my guard down and Deeks had been comatose because of it. I tried to take my mind off everything that happened, but I couldn't, I sat beside Deeks and grabbed a hold of his cold hand.

Deeks' POV

My eyes slowly fluttered open, I couldn't tell where I was, but it was blindingly white, am I dead? I could see the dark outline of a human figure, I think it was a woman. "Hello?" I called out, blinking rapidly in an attempt to adjust to the light. As if in slow motion, she slowly turned around, I soon came to realise that it was Kensi. She looked like an angel, wearing a long pure white dress and a heavenly glow outlined her curves. "Kensi?" I asked in a confused tone, she replied with her warm smile that I loved and missed dearly, my face suddenly dropped as I wondered why I was here and why Kensi appeared so angelic. "Kensi... am I dead?" I asked, she slowly tilted her head to the side never losing her beautiful smile, and slowly nodded.

I stumbled backwards in shock and I collided with the rock-hard ground. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, I was dead, just like that. Kensi appeared beside me "you seem confused?" she asked, I opened my mouth to speak, but no words came out. After a few moments of silence, I closed my mouth and looked at Kensi with tears in my eyes. "Kensi," I managed to breathe out "I can't be dead... we only just got together... we haven't had any time. We haven't been able to spend time together, live together or grow old together," her mood seemed to dim as she looked down at the floor "I wanted to marry you, Kensi. I wanted to have kids with you. But most of all I wanted to have a life with you." She slowly raised her head to look at me and smiled, I slowly raised my cold hand and placed it on her warm cheek, I connected our foreheads and closed my eyes. After what felt like an eternity our lips connected once more "I'm going to make sure that happens, I'm not dying today."

Kensi's POV

I returned from the hospital cafeteria with a warm coffee, I slowly made my way back to Deeks room letting my drink hydrate my dry throat. I sat down in the single chair in Deeks' hospital room, continuing to watch him breathe and thinking about what my life would be like without him in it, and there is only one way to describe it. Boring.

It would be uneventful, undeserved and most of all unloving.

I let out a sigh as I slowly got up from my chair and placed my hand on Deeks' cheek, after a while of staring at him I closed my eyes and connected our lips. Whilst one sided, it was just how I remembered it. Our lips separated but the kiss seemed to linger, I opened my eyes suddenly but didn't look down at Deeks until I felt eyes looking up at me. I slowly looked down to see Deeks looking up at me with eyes full of love and a smile as long as his face. I let out a surprised chuckle as the tears fell down my face "Deeks."