Becoming

Chapter #5: Sofia "You Will Never Understand Me"

Kari and I had a lot of catching up to do, so she brought me back to her little shack and we talked for a while. She told me all about her past, or what she knew of it anyway. She woke up in this forest when she was ten, she figured out what she could do and then went into hiding. I filled her in on who she was, the girl that was missing at ten years old, I think that's who she was anyway, I heard that there were only three girls ever been known to have purple eyes, one a girl who disappeared at ten years of age. The other a girl who was being raised by her grandmother, and me, a girl who came to the orphanage at three, who's aunt went crazy and tried to kill me. The one who didn't belong. I tell her that there was a village beyond the woods, she was so used to hiding out in her shack that she didn't ever explore the boundaries of the forest. Then I talked about some of the more recent happenings. I felt I could confide in her like no one else, which was strange because I haven't met her before. I tell her about the shadow demon and all the other things that have been happening over the past few months. Her eyes grow wide,

"You saw him too?" She asks. I nod. Her face lights up, she's probably happy to have someone to talk to, the poor girl has been living alone for her entire life, well the life that she remembers anyway. She found herself alone in the forest when she was ten, then she was attacked by hunters, and she's been living with her wolf ever since. She told me that the hunters and I are the only people she's seen before, but she bites her lip whenever I bring it up, I can tell she's lying, she's hurting, I know how she feels, I lost my parents when I was three and my aunt tried to kill me afterward. Yeah, we both have pretty harsh lives. 

"It was strange," Kari says, "He came to me and said that I was his daughter, and before I met you, he said that you were important to me, and that I should come out of the bush and meet you, the fact that he called me his daughter is the most frightening bit, but, I understand what you're going through, you're important to me, sister" 

"No," I think "She doesn't know if she has parents. I will live my whole life knowing that the people who cared for me for three years died because of me, because of my father, because of who I am. So no, Kari, you will never understand me." At that moment, a cold feeling breaches my back, a spindly hand rests on my shoulder, reminding me of the time when my friend brought a spider to school.

"She's right you know," It says, "You are very important, to the world, it needs you as much as it needs the sun or rain. You could rule the world" My eyes grow wide. Me ruling the world? I don't think so. I would probably get assassinated because people know how much of a bad leader I am. One year I tried organizing a fundraiser for the orphanage, but none of the kids could understand me, it was like I was speaking in a different language to them. I am so unbelievably bad at giving directions, it's almost comical. Almost. The cold feeling dissipates, leaving me with the feeling of icy water being poured down my back and an answer, an answer to the question that every orphan aks at one point. Family.

"Sister," We say together. Now that it's so clear, I can see the resemblance. Her eyebrows slope upward, delicately, exactly like mine. Her nose is the same small button pasted onto both our faces. Her hair is white, but the black strip in her hair shines like my soft brown hair. Kari's eyes are the most similar to mine, not because of color either. Her eyes are harsh and cold. Her eyes have seen loss, anger, regret. Her eyes tell a story. I remember when the man in black came to visit me for the first time, he said that I was close to the dark, close to turning, close to never coming back. I can feel that Kari understands what it's like to feel pain. What it's like to kill. What it's like to go dark.

"You don't know what it's like," Kari says, "The loneliness, the feeling that I was worth nothing, that I was tossed aside in the forest like garbage, like I didn't matter. It was so horrible, all I had was Vexx" At this moment, Kari bursts into tears. I feel so bad for her, because I know how she feels. I know what it feels like to be left by someone, thrown away. Vexx starts growling at the door, calmly at first, but now, he's hurling himself at the door and barking like mad.