That's What This Is, A Dream (Lams Modern AU)

Chapter 12

~John's POV~

As I walked back into my dorm room, something felt off. Of course, Alexander was still tapping on that computer, but something was wrong. "Hey Alex." I stated, going over and jumping onto my bed. "You should've came, it was so fun." I said happily, rolling onto my stomach. "Sorry that I couldn't. I was just so busy today." Alexander commented, slowly standing up. I blinked a bit in confusion and tilted my head, almost like a innocent pup. "You seem off..." I murmured softly.

Alexander simply shook his head and turned to face me. "I'm fine." He said reassuringly and walked over to my bed. "Hey, um...let's watch a movie." He suggested, plopping down next to me. I jumped slightly from the movement of the bed, but then soon smiled. "Okay." I chirpped, looking around for the remote.

I finally found it and picked it up, turning on the T.V. As I shifted closer to Alexander, he seemed to tense a bit, almost as if he was scared that I would touch him. I tried to ignore it as I wrapped and arm around him. Alexander slowly obliged into the embrace, leaning in closer. I still couldn't shake the feeling something was wrong. Maybe it was how meek Alexander seemed. I guess him being both smaller and younger than me makes him always seem fragile. However, that didn't seem right either.

I decides to let go and try and enjoy this movie with Alexander. Near the end we were both half asleep and tangled up in each other. I loved being so close to him. Being one with someone and making something greater than both of them. It was such a magical feeling. I slowly opened my eyes and looked down at Alexander, a gentle smile on my lips. I firefly gazes over the room when I completely froze.

That's when I noticed my journal was on my night stand, the book mark next to it. My eyes widened a bit in disbelief as I scrambled to the book. "Alex you...You didn't touch my book...did you?" I said, slightly above a whisper. Alexander seemed to have froze and all I heard was a sigh. I can't believe it. He actually touched my journal."Why didn't you tell me? You know I wouldn't have mind..." He murmured and that made me go rigid.

"Why didn't I tell you? Why did you snoop around my things?" I yelled, pushing Alexander down onto the bed. "You are an asshole! We just start dating and you up and betray my trust! I knew you were horrible from the start! I should have never let you take over my feelings!" I spat, grabbing onto Alexander's collar.

Alexander's eyes were wide and his facial expression was indescribable. Hurt, scared, sadness? I couldn't focus on him though. I was so filled with anger at that point. That's something I learned about myself. I have my father's temper. I almost have it as bad as him. That's something  I can't even control anymore.

I let out growl as I let go of Alexander's collar. "Get out of my bed." I hissed and watched him back up away from him. That's when I noticed how scared he was. My heart plummeted to my stomach, but I couldn't muster up an apology. Aside from feeling sorry, I felt a wave of weakness and melancholy go over me. I let out a sigh and draped myself over my bed. I felt my bed shift as Alexander got off, going to his own.

I should've known this wouldn't work out. Good things never last for me.