Yellow

chapter three: falling golden leaves

- a month later-

Cold pale hands hanging at my sides, eyes tipped up at tinted wilting leaves watching them twist as if threatening to break away from once what gave them life. Regrettably I am more like those leaves than I originally hoped and yet the rustling of change in my ears was something like air in my chest. Bending over off of my long-board my fingers brushed the paper thin surface of a tan maple leaf in wonder about how fragile and breakable it seemed.

*buzz* *buzz*

a notification lit up my phone, it was M, why did this time feel different?

' hey, sorry I've been busy all week. I was meaning to check in and see how you were'

'hi, um I'm good just a bit busy too haha' -I answered nervously.

'so my family is having a dinner party and my mom wanted to invite your family, you don't have to bring food but I wouldn't turn down your cookies :D' -M wrote back.

Feeling relived he wanted to see me I breathed out the brisk air and texted back. ' Oh yea totally I will talk to my mom, Haven't been to one of those since the sixth grade I think It was Christmas'

' I remember those. thank you for talking to your mom.'

' its no bother really'

Worried he thought I meant he was a bother I quickly shut off my phone and shoved it back in my pocket waiting for a reply. Every second seemed longer while I waited on him, time always had seemed different when it had came to him it effected me more, slow like homemade syrup dripping onto warm pancakes. The thought that time also seemed slower during tragedy crossed my mind and I prayed that we wouldn't end up like those people standing on the edge of roads their faces lit up with flashing blue and red lights tears streaming down their faces, no, i couldn't end up a tragedy. glancing down at my old converse, the same ones that I wore to M's a few weeks ago, and watched as they drifted over the almond shaped long-board as if unsure where they wanted to go. forward, they chose and my body followed. Twisting black asphalt paths that went on for almost an infinity carried a yellow hoodied girl on a board leading and leaning with it's curves. Lined with houses full of people who make them homes, people who have stories she will never hear and experiences she will never see and emotions she will never feel and something about that knowledge of the unknown puts her off a little. How could she expect anyone to understand her the way she never understood these people and for a split second judgments became justified in her mind only to realize that they were judging the sides of her she allowed them to see or they showed themselves a little too much of her. All this over thinking would have seemed like it made her small problems of worry from no response smaller but they just echoed in her mind louder.
But maybe he would text back.