Sam's POV
Friday 2nd April
I still thought about her every day.
I really wasn't coping, I thought to myself as I finally got up at 11am. I pulled on some sweatpants and went to check on my dad - he was watching TV and he was fine. Good. I went downstairs to get some coffee. I lived off coffee, it was the only thing that could keep me functioning.
I hated being stuck here alone - well, I had my dad but he was old and ill and he didn't really count. Now that my brother had gone off to university I had to stay here, there was no negotiating. I wished that he hadn't gone because he was better than nothing and better than not even being able to leave the house for long periods of time just in case my dad suddenly had another heart attack. I wished that my mum was still here to keep my dad happy. I wished that our family was just like it had been two years ago. And I wished that I hadn't been such a dickhead to Rory. She didn't deserve anything that I had done or said to her. I regretted how I had treated her more than anything else but I knew I could never take it back. Every day I missed her more and more and every day we got further apart, I wished more than ever that we could be closer. Now that my dad was ill I needed her more than ever, I needed someone to sit with me and tell me that everything would be fine. But I never did that for her and I knew that she deserved to be somewhere else, with someone else. She was better off without me and I knew that better than anyone else.
I knew she was getting back from Africa soon, I wasn't exactly sure when. I thought about trying to call her but I knew she'd be busy somewhere so I didn't bother. Shit, I really made a mess of that, I thought, and now look where I was. I decided to look on the internet to see if I could find a part time job but there was nothing within walking distance. I didn't have a license so I couldn't drive anywhere, and there was no chance I could take on a full time job, not with my dad the way he was. I gave up and went back to my room.
I called my friend Naomi to see if she was around, I knew she lived close but god knows where she might have been. She was probably the girl I could confide in most after Rory, but obviously Rory was out of the picture, and guys never understood this kind of shit the way girls did anyway. Naomi was a pretty good friend of Rory's but I didn't know if they still spoke at all. She answered almost straight away.
'Hey, Sam, what's up?' she said cheerily. She was always in a good mood and it made me feel better at once.
'Hey, I was just wondering if you want to come round? I'm not feeling great..'
She knew me too well and at once she understood what I was talking about. 'Sure, I can be therein an hour? How long do you want me to stay?' Literally I never even understood how girls can be so freaking compassionate or whatever.
'I don't mind, you can stay the night if you want', I replied, I couldn't even be bothered to think.
'As long as it's okay with you', she said and I thanked her before hanging up. It would just be nice to have some company for once, especially the company of someone who understood me so well.
True to her word, Naomi arrived an hour later. She hugged me and followed me upstairs to my room. As soon as I sat down I couldn't hold back, tears flowed down my face and I told her everything I was feeling. I wasn't ashamed in front of her, she was so understanding. She listened to everything and didn't interrupt. After half an hour of this I felt so much better, better than I had done in more than 6 months. She stayed silent for a while in thought and I watched her intently.
'You need to talk to her', she said, to my surprise. 'If you feel like this, then the only way you are ever going to feel better is by talking to her. Even if you talk on the phone for twenty minutes, you will get a chance to explain everything and hopefully she will listen. It's worth a shot, trust me. And I know Rory, she'll most likely give you a chance to talk and you can resolve everything.'
I didn't expect that at all. I didn't think that talking to her would have been a good idea but I guess, coming from another girl, that this was sound advice.
'Thank you so much, I feel so much better', I replied and I was honestly so grateful. 'I'll call her when I feel ready and explain everything.'
Suddenly I felt so much lighter, even though I hadn't actually done anything, but just talking it through had helped so much.
