Johnny's POV
Monday 12th April
I couldn't get her off my mind.
Some part about me felt better now I had someone else to think about, someone in the present and the future, rather than in the past.
But some part about me felt worse too because I knew she would never feel about me this way, I knew I wouldn't see her again after I finished work here in the summer because I was going back to university. I wished that I had the courage to say more to her but I could only manage a polite question here and there and I hated myself for being so shy.
Whenever I closed my eyes all I could see was her long, blonde hair and full lips and sparkling eyes. She was perfect, at least to me.
I didn't like the guy she was with, Sam. I assumed from the way they were with each other that they were dating or something and it crushed me in a way I don't think words could do justice to.
I got ready for work slowly, thinking about her as usual. I loved the mornings because it meant I could see her again, it meant I could see her relaxed smile and listen to her soft, pleasant voice.
I walked in to the cafe and saw her as usual, standing there on her phone looking bored. Today her hair was wavy, instead of straight, and she looked amazing. Hell, she always looked amazing.
'Hey,' I greeted her with a nervous smile. I could feel myself blushing, and I tried my hardest not to. I always blush at inconvenient moments and it makes me look stupid as fuck.
'The usual?' she smiled back, her eyes twinkling away. I nodded and paid, the same as every day. I wished every day wasn't the same. I wished that one day it would be different and there would be some kind of happy ending shit like in a fairy story. I'd never had even a hope of that happy ending, not until now, but it was still a long shot.
This time, it was her who made conversation.
'Do you ever drink anything different, or just this?' Her tone wasn't scornful at all, just curious. I looked up and laughed.
'No, only this.'
I drank only iced latte because I couldn't stand hot drinks, and all the fruit milkshake things smelt like my stepmum and that was a smell I never wanted to smell ever again. It was a safe option.
'Fair enough.' She thought about it for a moment before saying, 'I usually have the same thing everytime as well. It depends though.'
'Which one's your favourite?' I asked.
'Um..' she flicked her ponytail over her shoulder. My heart melted even further, she was so beautiful even in the smallest gestures. 'Probably iced lemonade. It reminds me of summer.'
I smiled. I didn't know what to say so I left it at that.
Again, today was the same. The same routine of polite conversation and nothing else, and I didn't have a clue how to break the cycle. I was waiting for an opportunity but it seemed like it would never come. If it carried on like this much longer I knew I would have to somehow make a move, ask her out or something. I never knew how to talk to girls and I was terrified about what she would think of me.
I took the drink she handed to me and thanked her, the same as usual. Fuck, why was everything the same? As I left, I hastily promised myself that this time next week I would make a change if nothing else had happened. I couldn't live without getting to know her better and I wished I was confident enough to take that step for myself.
