The Potions Master's Daughter (Book Five)

Chapter 19

I peered over at Hermione to find that she was already fast asleep. A book was resting on the bed right next to her, as though she'd fallen asleep reading. THe rest of the girls were also fast sleep. I  sighed and downed three protons before climbing into bed myself.

Even with the potions I found myself sinking into a restless sleep. As my eyes grew heavy and I began dreaming I found myself in Malfoy Manor in the room where we always met with Voldemort.

It was just Severus and I in the room and I was seated opposite him instead of next to him like I normally was.

Voldemort walked in the room and took his seat at the head of the table then frowned at Severus, "To think I thought you were such a strong follower. I am glad your daughter was able to make me realize that you are nothing more than a snake."

"My Lord-" Severus stammered glancing over at me who kept me face stonhard, "I'm not sure I understand what you are saying. I have always served you faithfully as has Jessica."

"I do not doubt that Jessica is loyal to me. It merely seems that she has finally given up on you. She has told me everything Severus. She has told me that you have been telling Dumbledore everything that you find out here. THat you have been working against me this whole time! If only you had treated her better, adn given her the recognition she desired, perhaps she wouldn't have come looking for a role model in me, but nevertheless you are nothing to me anymore. AVADA KEDAVRA!"

A beam of green light came from Voldemort's wand and Severus slumped over in his chair. My face did not flinch, if anything I looked pleased.

"You did well Jessica. I am proud of you. You do not need him, you are stronger than he is. I will be better to you than he ever was, and with my guidance you can become stronger and more powerful than everyone else."

I woke up in a panic. This was the second time I had had a dream similar to this, where I was the cause for Severus' death. I was terrified. What if they held some merit to them? What if they were somehow like the visions Harry had that ended up being real?

Without a second thought I grabbed my cloak, threw it around me and walked swiftly out of my dormitory, through the portal door and down all the stairs to the dungeons. I hadn't even bothered to make myself invisible in my haste, so I was lucky I haven't run into anyone on my way here.

I approached my father's private chambers and knocked loudly, loudly enough where he should be able to hear me from his bedroom even, which is where I'm sure he'd be at 3 in the morning.

A minute later he appeared at the door looking as though he had just woken up, which I'm sure he had, "Jessica, are you okay?"

I nodded and threw myself into his arms, "I love you."

He hugged me, a bit stunned and closed the door behind me.

"Hey shush, I love you too," he soothed, "What's the matter, and why are you here in the middle of the night?"

I sniffled but refused to pull my head up from where it was nestled against his chest, "I had a dream that you died, and it was all my fault. So then I was like what if one of us died while we were mad at each other. I couldn't live with myself if that happened. I don't know what I'm going to do if you die dad, I can't do any of this without you."

"Jessica, I'm not going to die, I'm always going to be here for you. You sound pretty worked up and you said it was your fault that I died, how would that be the case? If the Vow kills me, it won't be your fault."

"It wasn't because of the Vow," I responded ashamed, "In the dream I sold you out to Voldemort because I thought he liked me, and then he killed you right in front of me."

I was crying again but this time Severus pushed me away and wiped away some of my tears and looked me in the eye, "Jessica I don't think you'd ever actually do that no matter how much you hate me in the moment. I trust you entirely. I love you so much, you've made my life so much better since you've come into it. Do not worry about me dying, I will not leave you."

I nodded and wiped my nose with the sleeve of my cloak ignoring how disgusting I was at the moment, "I need you here. I"m not smart enough or rave enough to do this without your help. You're the only approval I need, and I don't care about Voldemort."

"I know you don't. Come here Jess, you've been taking on too much responsibility, you're starting to crack," he replied holding his arms open again.

I fell into them gratefully and said softly, "I can do this, you can count on me."

He stroked my hair, "i know I can. There's no one I trust more than you Jessica."

After a few minutes of standing there I finally stopped shaking and was able to pull away and wipe my face with my cloak, "I don't want to go back tonight."

He nodded looking at me with the softest eyes I've ever seen him have, "You don't have to. I'll make you some tea. We have to find a way for you to start getting some real sleep Jessica this isn't good. You can't continue to have panic attacks in the middle of the night, and not getting sleep makes your mental state even worse, and your mind more vulnerable to attack."

I hung my head, "I know, I'm sorry. I've tried taking potions, but even they've stopped working."

"I'm not disappointed Jess, there's no need to apologize. I am just worried about you okay?"

I nodded again, "Thank you Dad."

"Anytime my love. WHy don't you go sleep in my bed for the rest of tonight. I'll bring you some tea with a calming draught and some sleeping potions. You can just stay here and rest and hopefully get some sleep tomorrow, I'll inform Albus and get your work, whatever you need."

"I don't want to take your bed, I've already ruined your night. God, I'm sorry. You're going through more than I am and here I am complaining and having bad dreams and waking you up in the middle of  the night with my nonsense. I'm fine really, I can go back to my dormitory and to classes tomorrow."

"Jessica, you're my daughter, it's my job to take care of you. Now go lay in bed adn do as I say. I have problems too, but I've done this before, and I am still doing less than you are. You need a break."

I finally slunk into his bedroom and snuggled under his blankets. For an adult, I was surely acting more like a child than I ever had before. I was endlessly glad that Severus was here to take care of me and love me. I vowed that I would never let anything like my dream happen for real. There was no one that was more important to me than he was, an I wasn't going to let him die.