intertwined.

what's wrong with soon?

you want me to be happy

you want me to be perfect

you want me to always laugh and smile

you want me to be lady like

you want the perfect daughter.

but i am not perfect.

i am fucked up 

i am mentally unstable

i am so god damn sad

i don't want this life anymore

i don't want to be unhappy like i am

i don't want to live.

i don't want this anymore. 

can't you see that?

i'm screaming for help but you don't hear me.

you don't see my sadness 

and part of the blame is on me for not telling you

but it's not all on me 

part of it is on you because every time i come to you 

you don't understand and you won't listen. 

you never listen.

and i am so tired of deaf ears.

i just want you here but you never are. 

and i'm so sorry i'm not the perfect daughter you want me to be

i'm so sorry that i don't want this life

i'm so sorry that i'm gay

i'm so sorry for being me

i'm so sorry. 

just please don't leave me. 

i can't do this anymore.

if i say goodbye would that be such a bad thing?

i just want the pain to stop

i just want to be happy

i just want to stop crying.

i just want to die.

and maybe that won't be such a bad thing.

cause after all we all die anyway, what's wrong with mine being sooner?