Lonely and Tired

Glitter and Unicorns

My life was a car crash. To be clear, it wasn't the 'oh dear sorry I bumped into your car in the middle of a cemetery' kind of fender bender. No. It was the full on 'how the hell did they even get the car to do that, they're going to need the jaws of life, five kilometre traffic jam vehicular fatality' car crash. The conversation about children and the fan encounter on the pier weren't what had me holed up under a blanket in Cathy's family room binge watching Dr Who. Those were the things that made me ask Brian to take me back to Cathy's after our walk on the pier rather than go with him to the baby back to Michelle.

He didn't argue with me although his white knuckle grip on the steering wheel and rigid jaw gave me an idea that maybe he'd have liked to. I'd thought I'd have an easy escape when we pulled into Cathy's driveway. One thing I'd noticed about Brian was that, f-bombs aside, he was a responsible parent. There was no way he'd leave the baby unattended in the car to follow me into the house. Alas it was not to be. When I attempted a quick exit after pressing a light kiss to his lips he was out of the car like lightning and caught me before I'd even managed to close the car door, getting my feet tangled in my day pack as climbed out may have given him a head start. He pressed me back against the car door hands on either side of my head and feet spread wide to cage me in.

"Trying to run away Ace?" he narrowed his eyes as he smirked down at me. My heart thudded in my chest as he lifted a hand and played with a lock of my hair that escaped from my ponytail. The heat in his dark eyes and the addictive scent of him that swirled around me as he leaned in ran his nose from my jaw to my ear and gave a little questioning hum almost made me scream out, "Yes! Yes! I am having a freak-out of the highest order and am running away from you!"

Fortunately for my dignity I resisted the urge. Instead I gave him a gentle shove in the chest to create some space between us, when he was that close my brain was scrambled, and scoffed, "No. Of course I'm not running. Why would I run?" I may have sold it more if I'd been able to hold eye contact with him for more than two seconds.

Brian didn't look convinced but his only sign of irritation was a slight pursing of his lips. I ducked under his arm picking up the daypack I'd dropped when he'd cornered me against the car and said, "Honestly I have a load of work to do that's all." Bloody hell I couldn't even convince myself!

He caught my hand as I turned to walk away and pulled me back against his chest. "I'm sorry if I did something to upset you," his exhalation was the sound of pure frustration. He slid his hands up to cup my face and kissed me hard. His face was soft when he pulled away but his mask of inscrutability descended as he stepped back and released me.

I stood gasping and wide eyed as he smirked, "I have to believe what you're telling me but you can believe me Ace, you can run but you can't hide." With a two fingered salute he left me standing in shock as he strode around the front of the car to the driver's door. When he opened it he paused, looked at me over the roof and said, "Charge your phone, I'll be calling," before he slid behind the wheel and reversed out. When I made it through the front door I pressed my back to it panting as if the zombie apocalypse was on its way to Cathy's doorstep.

Brian's macho display may have been hot but it was not the reason I was covered in orange Cheetos dust, huddled under a cosy blanket and scaring myself stupid watching skeletons in space suits terrorise an empty library. It was the way I'd attempted to take my mind off the whole Brian situation that had driven me to seek solace in artificial colourings, flavourings and British sci-fi. The reason for my meltdown was my resolution to actually do what I'd told Brian I was going to do. Focus on my work for the afternoon. After all, it wasn't lying if I actually did the work right?

Other than my picture of Brian and I checking out the mountains from the hot tub up at Lake Tahoe I'd been neglecting my social media since Thanksgiving when I'd posted some pretty cool pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge and of course the monstrous turkey that Jeff's mother had found it necessary to cook.