Letters to Rose,

twelve

Dear Rose,

I came over to your house, bringing bundles of blankets, an endless supply of tissues, and an assortment of snacks. You had the cold, and I just wanted to see you better.

And I didn't want to deal with a cranky you, who acted just like a baby would, while you were sick. But it was cute. And I enjoyed taking care of a vulnerable version of yourself.

I should've told you then, of what happened that night. But I was too selfish. I wanted this time for us. I didn't want to see you cry over him.

Call me the bad guy, sure. But Daniel wasn't the one here taking care of you now, was he?

We decided to turn on the tv.

After several minutes of bickering over what movie to watch, we decided on a marathon of cartoon movies. That's what you wanted.

For the record, I let you win. Seeing the expressions you conveyed when you where determined was much more enjoyable than any movie I could've ever watched.

Your couch was huge, as was everything else in your home, yet you still plopped yourself next to me, leaving little to no space between the both of us.

Your cloudy eyes danced along with the characters on the screen, never removing themselves once.

The way you bit your nails, anxious of what's to happen next, and how your sleek hair that mirrored the midnight sky was fixed into loose curls tucked behind your ear, all of a sudden stood out to me.

Had it before? I didn't remember.

You turned to me suddenly and smiled, softly hooded eyes creasing into small crescents as you brushed a lonely strand back into place. "What's wrong, Mei?"

I cleared my throat, my eyes refusing to meet yours. "Uh, nothing. A piece of lint or something."

Hours later, I found my legs pinned awkwardly under your head. You had placed yourself upon my lap, laying sideways tucked into a frail ball.

I swallowed nervously, as I viewed you from a perspective I had not seen you in before.

Your breathing had slowed, as you inhaled and exhaled in natural rhythm to the calming silence.

Gingerly, I lifted my hand. It hovered above your head for a while before reluctantly sweeping the stray hair that sheltered your face.

Your fine, feather-like eyelashes rested peacefully against your soft, pale skin before your eyelids quivered ever so slightly.

Time could have stopped at that moment. And I wish it did.

I held my breath, afraid to wake you, but you returned to your stillness. You remained at rest, unbothered.

Almost as if on cue, that same knot found its way back to my chest. Only now, it felt familiar.

love -
mei

❁❁❁