In My Father's Shadow -II- Book One in the Shadow Legacy Trilogy

In My Father's Shadow

Fourth Age, 120

I walked at the head of the funeral procession, heart heavy with grief, Mother at my side. Her sobs came in waves upon waves, and I knew she would fully allow her sorrow to express itself within the privacy of her own quarters. But before her kingdom, she would be strong, and I would be her strength.

The doors to the House of the Kings swung inwardly on silent hinges, allowing all of the nobles to pass unhindered. There, upon a marble slab, lay the body of Father arrayed in all of his glory. Below him read:

Here lies King Elessar Telcontar

High King of the Reunited Kingdom

I closed my eyes, head bowed, remembering our last time together naught two days passed.

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"Eldarion, my son. You are soon to be king and with that comes a heavy burden. Are you ready?"

I kept my eyes focused ahead and thought carefully before answering. "You have taught me all that there is to know about being a king, Father," I said slowly, "but I still do not know if I am ready." I looked at him. "And you will not be there to guide me."

He smiled at me, his gentle but firm voice reassuring me. "Eldarion you have everything you need to rule. You are wise, generous, and giving. You lead with your heart, and that is not a thing to be scoffed at."

We walked down the steps of the Citadel, passing by the white tree in the fullness of its bloom, and walked out onto the point to look over the city below us, the Pelennor Fields and to Osgiliath along the river. A gentle wind blew around us, the suns warmth comforting my troubled heart. "How can I live up to what you've accomplished?" I murmured. I turned to face him, ashamed I should look so weak before him.

"Ah, so that is what's troubling you," Father replied, laying his hand on my shoulder. "My son, you have grown into a great man, and you will do many great things in your lifetime. You will be a great king among men, and you will be known to all peoples to be just and fair in your rule." He smiled, his grey eyes shining. "I am proud you, son."

Tears unbidden came to my eyes, and my heart both lept for joy and cried out in agony as I embraced him and let the tears flow. "Please, Papa, don't leave me," I begged through the sobs, his warm arms wrapping around me. He stroked my hair, speaking softly and reassuringly once again. "It will be alright," he whispered.

Once my tears were spent, I stood up straight, wiping my eyes, as we lapsed into silence for a time. Father's presence had always been a source of comfort to my sisters and I during our childhood years. His strength was not just in his mind, but his heart as well. He disciplined us with a firm hand, though he always made sure to know we were loved. And now he was leaving us forever. I may be a full grown man, but I still needed him. No one wanted to lose a parent.

"You will look after your mother and sisters, won't you?" Father asked, drawing me out of my thoughts.

"Of course I will," I responded, a feeling of dread slithering its way into my heart. I glanced sideways at him, seeing the emotions playing across his face before he finally gave a single nod of finality. "Then it is time. Let us go find your mother and sisters."

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The sound of my sisters crying brought me back to the present. They stood beside Mother who leaned over the body of her one true love and our father, slowly caressing his face. "Until I see you again, my love, rest and gather your strength," she said aloud.

I bit my tongue to keep back the fresh tears that threatened to fall anew at her words. She knew without a doubt that she would see her beloved again though it be in another time, another place far beyond the realms of Men, Elves, or Dwarves. I envied her faith.

After the nobles had paid their respects to their former king, they came to me offering words of empathy, sympathy, and comfort. Behind all their fair words though I could still see the political wheels turning, hoping to gain my favor once I was crowned king. I kept my anger in check, for it would not do to disturb the dead with heated words.

Finally, after the last of the nobles had left and Mother and my sisters had left I found myself standing alone in the dimly lit halls of the dead. I eased myself to the floor and sat, back against the cold stone; then I wept. All of the emotions I had held back poured forth in an unending wave of grief and pain as I slipped once more into the past.

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I watched as my sisters said a tearful goodbye to Father. He wrapped them up in his arms, speaking softly to each of them in their turn, something for them to cherish and cling to in their grief. Most people wished they could say this kind of goodbye to their loved ones, but I found myself envying them because this seemed by far the more painful of the two.

It was Mother's turn as my sisters came and gathered around me, clinging me as if I was their lifeline.

"Estel," Mother said sadly, her hand stroking his face.

"My heart breaks within me to leave you," Father replied, leaning his forward against hers. "You have always been the light of my life. So it will be where I now go."

I could see Mothers shoulders quake as her emotional walls broke down. "But who will be my light, Estel? Who will be my hope?" she asked, her voice cracking as she buried her face.

He pulled her tighter, streams of tears running down his face. He looked at me, and it pierced through my heart like an elven spear. I could see the doubt in his eyes; the fear. He questioned his choice and was now looking to me, his only son, to answer the unspoken question that hung in his eyes: Do I stay?

I shook my head. No.

He gave me a sad smile and a barely perceptible nod. He pulled back from Mother and cupped her face in his strong hands and kissed her long and passionately. "You will always be with me," he whispered as he gently tore himself from her.

"No! Please, Estel!" she begged, dropping to her knees.

Father laid down upon his marble bed and looked once more at us, his family, giving one last smile before closing his eyes and releasing his final breath.

The screams of agony that came afterward could have rent all of Arda apart, but we cared not. Our world was gone.

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I took a deep shuddering breath as I came back to the present once more. The whole of Minas Tirith was in mourning and would be for the next month before I was crowned king. Such was the protocol. But while the city would rejoice in a months time I would bere the burden of the crown.

I slowly got to my feet and looked down at the body of my father. "I have much to live up to," I said to him, placing my hand on his. "But by the grace of the Valar, I shall try to make you proud."

I turned and strode towards the doors, taking a deep breath, and straightening my shoulders. I may live in my father's shadow, but instead of it being a burden I would see it as a gift. I would always have him with me, and that was a comforting thought.