Bleeding Color

18. Stay

Senior year is over before I can process it's even ending. Christina tells me on a daily basis how jealous she is that I'm leaving high school, and checks on me frequently following my kiss with Logan. According to Christina, I've had daily moments for the last month where my body is present, but my mind drifts worlds away. She worries about me, but I know I've just been overthinking for the past month. The only thing I wanted when this school year started was to see it end so I could go to Boston, and now I'm praying the Summer moves at a snail pace so I have time to spend with everyone I've grown close to over the last year.

My mind wanders once again, and Christina has to snap me back to reality. She helps me get ready for graduation, and asks if I'm going to talk to Logan afterwards. Logan and I haven't talked about our kiss. She hasn't brought it up, and I'm too scared to, so we've spent the last month pretending nothing happened. That is, we pretend on the rare occasions when we do manage to see one another. Those moments are only ever in passing, and each one hurts more than the last.

Christina looks at me and knows I'm disappointed, so she attempts to cheer me up but nothing gets more than a small chuckle from me. Logan not taking the chance to sleep with me is a sign that she's not interested. Christina believes the opposite. She believes that Logan's rejection is a sign that she cares about me more than I realize, but I know it's just the hopeless romantic in Christina trying to give me hope that everything will work out in the end. Still, Christina's faith in Logan convinces me to find Logan during graduation and ask to meet up later.

All of Christina's efforts to get me to talk to Logan fail once it's clear that Logan is not present at graduation. Asking around as nonchalantly as I can, it becomes clear that Logan opted not to walk the stage during graduation. Suddenly the world slows when I don't want it to and all I can focus on is leaving graduation as soon as possible so I can look for Logan. Thankfully, the only family I have in attendance is Christina and my parents so pictures don't take any time at all. I don't waste time making small talk with other students and instead beg my mom to beat the traffic home. Even she knows my request is an excuse, but she doesn't pry any additional information from me.

I ask my mom if I can borrow the car once we get home and thankfully, she agrees. As soon as the car stops in the driveway, Christina and I jump out of the backseat of the car and wait for my mom and Jayson to hand over the keys and head inside. My graduation gown is tossed in the backseat as Christina eagerly climbs into the passenger seat. She's coming with me for moral support, although I hope I don't need it.

We turn down Logan's apartment's street and Christina spots Logan with a duffle bag, heading for her truck. I ask Christina to wait in the car while I talk to Logan, and she agrees but rolls the window down in order to eavesdrop on the conversation, although both of us doubt she'll be able to hear anything. Logan avoids making eye contact with me as I approach her, and asks, "What are you doing here?"

Initially, I'm discouraged but then I see why she was avoiding looking directly at me. As she turns to open her truck's door, I notice how beat up she looks. Her bottom lip and right eyebrow are cut and her right eye is bruised black. The bruise touches the edge of her nose, where another small cut lays almost hidden. "Oh my god, Logan. What happened?" I take a step closer, reaching for her but she jerks her head away.

"You should see the other guy." Her voice is low and as she speaks, her cuts begin to look worse than they initially appeared to be. Despite my efforts to get her to explain herself, she refuses to tell me. I persist to a point where I annoy myself, and Logan finally gives in. According to her story, Logan went to a party last night and drank. She didn't start anything stupid, and didn't plan to stay long. Unfortunately, however, a girl at the party came onto Logan, and Logan rejected her, but the girl's boyfriend saw the girl hanging all over Logan and went after Logan. Logan defended herself, but the guy overpowered her. Logan says she was lucky enough to squeeze through the crowd of the party and get away before he could do any real damage to her, but not before she managed to hit him a few times as well.