Always

Chapter 9:

Cierra

"What's wrong with you?" My mom came into my room asking while I was getting ready.

"Nothing, why?" I asked.

"Oh you just been real distance the past two week." She said and I just shrugged.

"Cierra." She said.

"Okay well do you have time? I wanna have a conversation because I have been feeling away." I said.

"Go ahead." She said sitting on my bed.

"You can tell me whether you agree or disagree, but I don't think I've ever been a bad or disrespectful child. I know I have my moments, but I don't feel like I've ever been intentionally disrespectful."

"You haven't. You do get mouthy sometimes as does Devin and you sure as hell tried me by skipping school. And getting pregnant so young was a whole different ball game." She said making a face raising her eyebrows and I nodded agreeing with her.

"Well I personally think it was wrong of you to go tell my business. If I come to you in confidence crying about something I don't feel like you should call everybody and run it down. If I wanted people to know right away or at all I would have told them myself. Like why is that such a known black parent thing to do."

"Okay first I didn't run and tell everybody. Your Aunt called and I mentioned it to her that y'all aren't together anymore. I didn't go into any extra details."

"Well I didn't appreciate it being mentioned at all." I said speaking honestly.

"Okay I can understand that."

"Okay, I still love you."

"Still? You better. I love you more little girl even when you get nerves."

"Even when you get on my nerves and tell my business." I said chuckling when she popped my arm before getting up.

"Make sure you text me to let me know how your appointment goes today." She said.

"I will."

"So today's the first time you are gonna see Mike since the breakup."

"Yeah. You sure you can't come?" I asked doing a sweet smile.

She chuckled shaking her head, "I have to get to work, but even if I didn't I wouldn't wanna deal with y'all awkwardness. Y'all need to have a conversation and figure things out regarding Noah."

"I know, I know." I said sighing.

•

I grabbed my wallet, phone, and my bag of grapes before heading outside to Mike's car.

"What's up?" He said and I ignored him getting into the car when he opened the door for me.

When we stopped at our first a red light he placed his hand on my stomach. I looked at him then down at his hands not really wanting him to touch me.

"I ain't seen that stomach in two weeks and my son is in there." He said.

I rolled my eyes going back to eating my grapes.

"At least I was honest." He said randomly a few minutes later and that made me break my silence.

"At least? Get the fuck outta here. Yeah you told me, but it shouldn't have even been done. I don't give a fuck how high you probably were. Like I didn't even cross your mind until probably afterwards. Niggas are so fuckin disgusting."

"Plus you had to even think about telling me." I added on.   

"No I was thinking of how I was gonna tell you. I sat in my car outside that night for a fuckin hour knowing I fucked up. I admitted I fucked up and have apologized over and over. I honestly feel like shit."