His Past II // Zion Kuwonu

Ch. 2

Tj

My face scrunched together as the clear liquid went down my throat. I took one last long sip before slamming the glass bottle down on the nightstand next to me. I slowly got up, my head slightly aching from the alcohol I previously consumed.

I sighed as I looked into the mirror. I looked terrible. My hair was a mess and I had runny mascara from the night before. My cheeks were still red.

I brushed my hair, even though I didn't want to. I took a makeup wipe and wiped off the stained mascara from my face, attempting to make myself look decent. I quickly filled in my eyebrows, not caring how they looked.

The guys would soon be up, I didn't want them to see me like this. I cried myself to sleep last night and woke back up at 6am. I decided to drink, I needed something to take the pain away even if it was just temporary.

I crawled back onto my bed as I noticed the time read 9:27am. I quickly threw back ibuprofen with the clear liquid that wasn't water.

"Tj do you want to go out for brea-" my door opened and Nick stopped his sentence. Hurt washed over his face as he ran to me. "No. Babygirl, no" he sighed, holding my face in his hands. I winced as he said babygirl.

"Why? You can't do this to yourself. Please don't do this, you're going to hurt yourself and the people around you." Nick's voice became shaky. "Why?" He repeated.

"What do you mean why?" I asked getting frustrated. "You can't see that I'm fucking hurting? Zion was my first love! My first kiss! My first...everything!" I began raising my voice. "Every day that goes by I hurt the same, if not worse, than I did before. Do you know what it's like to see the person you love die in front of you? There was nothing I could do for him!" I yelled as I began wave my hands around as I spoke.

"Babygirl, stop." Nick spoke, holding my arms as a single tear fell down his face.

"Don't call me babygirl! Only Zion got to call me that!" I said as tears were uncontrollably falling from my face and my voice was shaky and loud.

"I fucking miss him! I want him to be brought back but no! That will never happen! Zion is never coming back and I will never be the fucking same!" I continued yelling as Nick winced at my words.

Before I knew it, I swung at Nick with my fist balled but he quickly grabbed grabbed my hand, dodging it. I gasped slightly as he pulled me into a hug. I don't know what I'm feeling right now. Pain? Sadness? Relief? All of the above.

"Shh...it's okay." He spoke into my ear as he rocked us back and forth.

"I'm so sorry. I don't know why I did that. I don't want to hurt you." I cried harder, my sobs becoming louder than before.

"It's okay" he whispered as he continued rocking us back in forth slowly. We stayed like this for a while before he suddenly started singing to me.

I see you been trying to make...
Something out of nothing.
But baby I'm starting to face
The fact that you're out on the run
Now you got me cuffed
And you ain't even know me
Caught me slipping up
And now I need you on me
I just wanna touch
But I keep being turned away
Girl you could tear me apart
But I can't help it I'm waiting
Here with open arms
So when you're ready,
You know where to find me
Got that key to your heart
Scrape my knees on the pavement
Here with open arms
So when you're ready,
You know where to find me

Nick finished and I stared in awe.
"That was amazing..." I wiped my last tear and smiled big.

I felt his deep chuckle against my neck and I instantly felt better. "Thank you. I do sing a little..." he trailed off

"Really?" I asked, pretending to be shocked.

He shook his head smiling. I watched as he took the bottle off of my nightstand. "Anything else?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

I slowly shook my head yes, pointing to a drawer in my nightstand. Nick sighed and opened it up to find another half drank bottle of liquor. Nick left my room and I could hear his footsteps down the stairs.

"What was that?" Brandon asked as he came through my open door, running a hand through his messy hair and adjusting his glasses.

"I was just having a...tough moment and nick helped me." I sighed.

Brandon smirked at me. "Not like that!" I said, blushing.

"Mmhm, sure" He spoke, laughing.

I scrunched my face at him. "I'm kidding! I heard you yelling and I heard him singing to you. I know you guys didn't do the nasty" he chuckled.

I stood up from my bed, hugging Brandon as my head rested on his chest. I sighed as I pulled away from the hug and went downstairs.

"Do you need ibuprofen?" Nick asked as soon as I came down the stairs.

"I already took some" I responded as I realized Austin and Edwin were on the couch playing a video game.

"Why would she need it?" Austin asked, pausing the game.

"Duh, they fuc-" Edwin began "NO WE DIDNT!" Nick yelled as he came into the kitchen.

I blushed as all of the guys looked at me. "We didn't. I swear." I spoke. I was slightly tipsy but I was trying hard not to show it.

Austin and Edwin continued their game and Brandon joined in. I went back up to my room and lied down, drifting off to sleep as the events from earlier exhausted me emotionally and physically.

I woke up hours later, about 4:00pm, feeling an intense wave of nausea come over me. I made my way into the bathroom as quick as I could and emptied my stomach contents into the toilet. I coughed as I felt a warm hand begin to rub my back as my hair was gently pulled out of my face.

"It'll be okay." Nick spoke, continuing to rub my back. I nodded and continued my coughing fit, hoping not to throw up any more than I already have.

I flushed and moved against the cabinets, resting my back against it. I watched as nick left the bathroom as I closed my eyes. I opened them slowly to see Nick coming back in and holding a bottle of ginger ale and some ibuprofen.

"Thank you so much" I whispered as nick squatted down and I pulled him into a hug. I felt his deep chuckle against my neck.

I downed the ibuprofen with the ginger ale and watched as nick put his hand out for me. I took it, standing up to brush my teeth. I finished what I was doing and turned to nick who had a sympathetic look on his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. I'm hurting really bad. I don't want to believe that he's gone but at the same time my mind knows it's true. It hurts, Nick. It hurts really bad." I spoke as my voice began to shake.

"It's okay, T. I won't tell Austin about the alcohol. I know you hurt from Zion." Nick pulled me into a tight hug. I've been getting a lot of these lately.

I sighed as I left the bathroom and crawled back into bed. I sighed as nick kissed my forehead and left the room. I drifted off to sleep for the second time today, hoping I'll feel better soon.