The Promise

Scarlets secret

I sat down at the table worried. Angel was sobbing hysterically. Tony was comforting him as much as possible. Jake was still in line, probably unaware of the problem. Lizzie was sitting there, a glazed unfocased look in her eyes, also crying but quietly. No one noticed my presence or Jakes absence except Andy.

I looked at him with worried eyes and paranoid thoughts. “Luna d did it ag again" he stuttered. I furrowed my brow. “She...she... Tried again." He turned away. I sat there. “Is she ok" I asked not bothering to write it down this was to important. He shrugged his shoulders. Not as if he didn't care. He was to upset to say out loud that he had no idea.

I was nearly in tears. was it my fault? my brain asks . I got two responses. how could it be you didnt do anything. Or the much louder and believable of coarse you did you always do.

Why was this so believable, well I have a dark present and an even darker past.

****************flashback*****************

I stood there tears running down my face, staring at him. How could I have caused this. I then heard his voice. The voice I will soon come to know as one of my demons. You should have listened....or answered......or cared. “But I do care. I really do." I said, the last time I would ever use my own voice in public.

His pale body laid there. I sat down next to him, and grabbed his hand, which was loosing it's heat. He looked up at me and said “I promise" so quietly It was barely audible. Looking down I felt his hand let go, falling lifelessly to the floor. He had promised. Promised what?

Well... He had finished the promise we made weeks before. The promise that had he done before would have saved him. The promise that barely saved me...

****************end flashback************

Since then I had made no promises. It would just remind me of all the pain I caused. I had caused another death for lack of caring, lack of attention, or lack of space.  Which one, I didn't know. If she want dead yet, by the looks if it she want going to make it.

Jake finally came and sat down and noticed all of us crying. He said one word and we all nodded. Luna.

Yes I know what you are thinking. That I'm jumping to conclusions and blaming myself to quickly. Well if you saw my thoughts you would think that to. In my mind anything and everything is my fault. Don't argue.

Jake looked quickly around and assessed how bad it was. He looked at me and gave me a pitiful look. Almost as though he knew it was my fault. I opened my mouth to say something but quickly turned away. Remembering why I was terrified to use my voice, and relizing I couldn't speak for the lump in my throat was to large.

I silently got up, its not like any of then would notice. I couldn't have a full out argument with my demons in public. I heard his voice though. Saying ever so quietly you did it again you fail. I warned you. I told you not to get close. EVER AGAIN. And what do you do you get close.

But I can't be alone anymore. I can't. I responded desperately. Ah but your not alone my dear you have me. Us. He said, like it was obvious. I was still walking towards the doors of the cafeteria. When I got to them I was stopped, but because I was crying they let me threw. I walked across the grounds to a little corner I had found about a week ago.

It was surrounded by bushes and plants and things so that it looked like it was just a big pile of plants growing on the fence. If you know where to look you can walk around a few branches and walk inside where it is hallowed. And I sat down there.