Restricted

Chapter 10

Louis spent almost the entire rest of the week replaying the exchange with Harry on his couch. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what had made him run off the way he had.

Harry was gay, that was quite obvious from his gait and way he obsessed over fringe. Not that straight boys didn't obsess over their fringe, Harry just managed to do so in a very feminine manner. (Who carried pocket scissors just to trim their hair?? Most women didn't even do that!)

So what was it? He didn't seem to dislike Louis; he'd basically forced himself into Louis's house that afternoon just to take care of him when he'd been ill. That seriously didn't seem like the actions of someone completely unaffected by Tommo charm.

There was one looming suspicion Louis had that he had yet to confront. This suspicion was extremely daunting and yet, Louis couldn't find the strength to address it. As the week wore on though, he began to feel like that was the only possible explanation, and when he finally went to talk to Harry about what had happened between them, he found himself exactly where he'd never wanted to be.

It was a Thursday afternoon in May when Louis found himself outside the bakery. A Thursday afternoon with blue skies, and relatively decent temperatures. Birds singing lazily from the tops of trees as small children covered in ice cream laughed while their parents swung them between their legs. A Thursday afternoon when Louis realized while staring into the window of that bakery, watching a curly haired boy serve pastries to the elderly with a blindingly beautiful and innocent smile decorated onto his features, just how wrong he'd been about men and relationships in general. He realized how utterly incapable he was of living the life he'd led for so long now that he'd met this portion of sunlight. This boy with his shy glances and captivating eyes and caring, yet honest heart.

He also realized just how scared he was of change. Louis knew he'd never be able to hide behind the man's man that he'd been before. He'd have to address his emotions and his issues, he'd have to become a better person if he ever wanted to deserve this boy. He realized all this as he watched Harry from his SUV on the side of the road, not caring how stalkerish he looked. He was fully prepared to walk into the shop, perhaps smile at the old couple who'd just bought probably some delicious croissants on Harry's recommendation, ask them how they are and wish them a nice day. Smile at them graciously and restore some faith in the youth of today. He'd turn his gaze slowly to where he knew the taller boy would be standing, perhaps meeting welcoming eyes, perhaps confused or even angry ones. He'd approach him and ask him to sit down and as they talked, he'd reach for his hand, willing Harry to understand what he longed to explain to him. How he'd managed to completely change his theories and beliefs on life and love in general in only a matter of weeks, and that in that time Louis had come to realize he can't be separated from Harry anymore. Self-importance and narcissism aside, Louis needed Harry. And he would let him know just how much he needed him on that beautiful and promising Thursday afternoon.

Louis's resolve for his plans became solid as he climbed down out of his large vehicle and made his way over to the bakery window. He looked in at Harry and smiled knowing he couldn't see Louis from the angle he was at, then Louis looked down at himself to make sure he looked presentable for his declaration. As he looked up again, and at what he saw, he felt his bones give out and the next thing he knew he was lying on the pavement blinking dazedly at the clear blue sky before it all went black.