Restricted

Chapter 20

"She's right Louis, he's gone. And after what you've put him through, I wouldn't be surprised if it was for good." Liam walked behind Eleanor.

"What the fuck are you even talking about Payne. Don't act like you know anything, we all know Harry cut you off ages ago."

"Did he now? Is that why he called me? Just last week? It was really nice to catch up Louis it really was. Seeing as I'm the only one who's actually ever cared about him."

"He- he called you..." Louis repeated, full of shock and jealous rage.

"Oh don't give me that shit Louis. You know he called to ask why you left him. All alone, with his sick mother and no one to help him. No one to ease his pain. You really are just a shitty person aren't you."

"You don't even know what you're talking about. Anne is fine, I called the hospital."

"Oh and that makes leaving him when she wasn't okay? If you leave during the hard stuff why would he forgive you during the easy shit? You're so dumb it hurts me Tomlinson."

"What did you tell him." Louis spat.

"Nothing, actually. Seeing as you brought Eleanor to this gala as your date, I figured I might as well invite him too and allow her to explain it to him. Ex boyfriend to current girlfriend protocol you know." Liam grinned.

"This isn't going to make him love you Liam. Nothing can make him love you. He. Doesn't. Want. You." Louis stressed each syllable.

"I'm aware." Liam looked away, trying to cover his pain. After he collected himself he continued, "but he won't ever be with you who doesn't deserve him now will he? Not after what Eleanor told him. About how you've always loved her? That your being gay was a phase and how you confessed to her that he'd merely been a way to pass the time in rehab. El really is quite the actress, had him bawling and everything. I couldn't watch of course, seeing as I have actual feelings for him. Not that you would understand that."

Louis vomited on the pavement. Harry was here. Harry believed Louis didn't love him. Louis couldn't even fix it without blowing up his career, not after he'd made his comeback. Liam gazed down at Louis sobbing form on the pavement with indifference in his eyes.

"You made me this way Louis. Blame yourself." And walked off. Eleanor walked over to Louis to help him up but he pushed her off.

"Don't touch me. Don't you ever fucking touch me. How dare you" Louis seethed. Eleanor whimpered and backed away to follow Liam.

Louis laid on the pavement for a long time until someone accidentally stepped on his hand.

Shouting, he stood up and made his way to the car, snapping at the driver to take him home.

--

Lying in bed, Louis thought about all the shit he'd gone through to get famous. To be the person he was and be able to do the things he could do. He loved performing and he adored his fans but a life denying who he was was never one Louis strived to lead.

He stared at his television and all the other wildly extravagant and expensive things in his house, thinking: if I could give all this shit up and have Harry, I think I would.

He remembered the speech his mom had given him the day they'd told him he was a finalist on the X Factor.

"Louis, I want you to know, you can live this life as largely and crazily and stupidly as you want to, but the second you stop loving it, the second this isn't what you want for yourself or it messes with something you want more, you can back out. Never put this above your happiness, because son. That's all that's ever mattered."