Restricted

Chapter 16

arry was knelt beside what looked like some sort of hospital bed? But why would there be a hospital bed in the middle of Harry's house?

Louis's heart slowly sank below his knees as he connected the dots. The nurse, the bed, the pills on the nightstand, the frail woman lying in front of him, Harry scrubbing at his eyes furiously trying to erase the tears stained onto his cheeks.

She was dying.

Harry's mum was dying.

Louis stood there a bit awkwardly not knowing whether to comfort his boyfriend or break down, seeing the sweet woman he'd met with countless times before on picnics and lunch breaks at the bakery.

Seeing how broken Harry was told Louis he should try his hardest to keep it together.

Harry slowly stood from his place at her bedside and Louis suddenly wished he hadn't come. Harry needed this time with his mother; Louis really shouldn't be there.

He began to stagger backwards towards the door but Harry had already seen him and was halfway to him when he realized what Louis was doing.

"No- Lou, don't go. I'm so sorry I didn't call you back it's just-" his voice broke.

"Shhh, god no." Louis pulled Harry into his shoulder and began to pet his hair, feeling silent tears wet his shirt, "Don't you dare try to apologize. I just thought, maybe, you'd like to be alone with her..."

Harry sniffed and looked up at Louis, nodding slightly, "I'll call you later. Okay?"

Louis looked down at the runny nosed boy and felt complete heartache. Kissing Harry's nose, he smiled, fighting the water rising in his eyes.

"Later."

Harry smiled almost imperceptibly and turned back towards his sick mother. Louis's face immediately fell as he fought to keep it together until he made it out to his car.

Once he got there, though, Louis lost it. He did so horribly when it came to loss, he'd practically cursed his mother to hell when any of their pets would die and now the boy he loved most in the world was losing the woman he loved most. He knew this world was wholly unfair but Louis still couldn't believe this could happen to such a good person.

"Fuck you world. Fuck you fuck you fuck you." Louis blubbered, his tears thick and suffocating.

When he arrived back at his house nothing had changed, the house was still ugly, he was still sad but mostly, he was still alone. He dragged his big bedspread and body pillow down the stairs and out to the couch, cuddling in the place Harry had first kissed him.

Louis couldn't help but imagine young Harry, playing with his friends at school, riding his bike in the yard, falling down every now and then. His thoughts then turned to the woman who would bandage his wounds and kiss his forehead, giving him all the love she had to offer. Louis was thrown into a whole new fit of hysterics.

Louis had been laying on the couch for a long time, halfway between consciousness and lack thereof, when he made an important decision. He would go back to his life tomorrow, but he wasn't about to burden Harry with anything else. He wasn't about to burden Harry with anything ever again. Harry needed his family right now, and he didn't need Louis dragging his paparazzi and drama and screaming fans into his already difficult life.

So yes, Louis would return to London tomorrow. But Harry wouldn't know about it, he'd be better off not knowing. He'd forget about Louis soon enough and find someone he deserved. Louis would make it without him, he told himself, Louis could make it in London again. Alone.