where you belong

Chapter 23

Meeting up with Taehyung’s mates was a huge thing and he’s been anxious about it all day. He even had to get out during a class and call Jungkook so he could calm down and that’s when he decided it was time to take a pill. He sometimes hated himself for not being able to function like a proper human being and this was one of those days but he promised he was going to meet Tae and a few friends of his for lunch and he had to stick with that plan. The therapist suggested him he should do as many things that could keep him distracted and now that he reached 1100 calories per day he had to admit that he had a lot more energy, even if he was constantly nauseous.

They met at some cafe and the fact that the others were all good-looking didn’t help a lot. It was only natural for them to be artsy because they were majoring in photography and thankfully, his blond hair matched the other bright colours just fine but he felt uncomfortable as soon as they sat down at the table. They were chatterboxes and they were talking about things he had no idea about – teachers, classes, certain documentaries and he began shifting in his seat before the menus were brought to them. He was subtly brought into the conversation by Tae after they ordered – he had a Caesar salad – and he was thankful for that because he didn’t want to look like a crisped weirdo. The two girls were nicer than the other boys so he preferred to talk to them and at one point he felt a hand sneaking in his. He looked down to see his bestie intertwined his fingers with his.

“Oh! Are you guys together?” Someone asked and Tae giggled before shaking his head and throwing an arm around Jimin’s shoulders, their heads rubbing together.

“We’re soulmates.” Whenever he heard that, the blond couldn’t help but grin widely so he confirmed and ignored the strange faces the others pulled. He had a hard time while eating but accepted when Taehyung said they should split a portion of pancakes. As soon as he was done with those too he felt his stomach turning upside down and begging to be emptied. His eyes began to search the other bodies around him and he paled because they were all so fit and he felt so – big. When he excused himself Tae had no idea what was going to follow, he never suspected Jimin was going to lock himself in the bathroom and start crying even before he dropped to his knees. He couldn’t figure out the panic that was screaming inside the other’s body, the anxiety that was almost swallowing him whole. Once he was done, he flushed and took a few minutes to calm down and wash his face so he would look alright once he got out and faced everybody. He wanted to call Kookie but his phone was on the table, where he left it and a part of him was telling him he should keep this a secret otherwise everything they built until then will crumble.

His eyes were slightly swollen when he sat down on his chair and Tae didn’t miss this detail because his browns widened while his brain began working. It was clear what just happened and by the way his friend acted he was sure he was trying to hide it. The idea of texting Jungkook popped inside his head but he decided not to because it was not his place, he was going to talk to Jimin about it and tell him he must speak about how he was feeling. He hated to see Jiminie like that – he was already dissociating.

They both got startled when a phone vibrated on the table and the screen lit, showing “Daddy” and a selfie of Jimin and Kookie. The owner grabbed it but before he could answer he heard one of the boys bursting into laughter.

“You call your boyfriend Daddy? That’s disgusting, dude.” Jimin didn’t know how to react, Taehyung was the one who replied and he used the most acid tone he managed.

“That’s none of your business.” The boy shut it when he heard the annoyed voice because the brown-haired boy has never been so defensive before. He didn’t apologise but it was clear the blond was already lost so his friend suggested he should call Kookie and ask him to come and pick him up. He said he’d do that and said his goodbyes but he didn’t call anyone, instead he headed home by himself, deciding a long walk was exactly what he needed to clear his mind.