Anonymous

Chapter 7

Let's begin this with my apology. I wanted to continue writing, I really did. But when 2017 was in its last weeks, I had some of the worst weeks of my life. I never imagined surviving 2017, to be honest - this is the first time I was sure of dying.

I'd love to say it was because of an illness. Maybe you could call it an illness, if you consider giving up on life an illness.

I have lived with self-hatred for a long time and I always told myself I'd make it out by myself. When the depression hit me, I thought so again. Why would a pathetic creature like me deserve any help to get out of a hole I dug myself?

So I held it in. I didn't tell anyone until a few people came along that I trusted enough to believe they wouldn't call me crazy or stupid.

I have had so many people help me by now, some people don't even know I exist, K-Pop Idols.

Number One is definitely Stray Kids. Their lyrics speak to me and have helped me through a lot of Panic Attacks and lonely times when the desire to die was too strong, when I had once again disappointed my family. Their relationship shows me the humanity I thought had disappeared from this world, and the happiness of friendship.

Number Two is WANNA ONE. I haven't watched PD101 Season 2, but I plan on doing so. When I needed to laugh, I watched a Variety Show with all of or members of WANNA ONE, especially Daniel. Of course they made me sad at the same time, because... WANNABLE knows why.

Number Three is BTS, again because of their lyrics. You may ask yourself why they aren't Number Two then. Mostly because I am really mad at ARMYs at the moment. Not all ARMYs, but there are a few that I fight with a lot on social media, because they repeatedly start fanwars, and they end up calling me a peace of sh*t that should just go die already since no one cares about me.

And now a positive announcement: I am hoping I will start the FanFiction soon, and even if I don't, it will come at some point.

This FanFiction is more there to cheer me up when I'm feeling down, and it's called "STREET DANCER". The protagonists are SK's Han Jisung and Hwang Hyunjin. The main plot is going to be the beginning of Stray Kids.

Mentioned groups/people are GOT7, GOT7's Jinyoung, WANNA ONE, WANNA ONE's Daehwi and Guan Lin, EXO, BTS, and probably a few more. I hope you look forward to it!

Let's begin with me trashing your hearts again (sorry, btw), shall we?

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To say Stray Kids were shaken after the accident was an understatement.

They didn't seem to be very stable with their songs, and while Jisung continued to make lyrical mistakes, Seungmin couldn't hit quite a few notes that were a little higher than the average, mostly because he couldn't stop crying. Changbin messed up the choreography at more than one point and Jeongin had moments where he just stood still, not knowing what to do. Woojin looked close to tears and Chan looked like he wanted to scream. Hyunjin managed it the best. He didn't look to freaked out and you didn't notice any difference from before or after the accident, except for the fact that he was shaking and as pale as a sheet.

Everyone sighed in relief when the performance had finished, especially the fans. They had yelled at Stray Kids to go off stage and just call it a day, but instead they watched Stray Kids visibly suffering from the shock.

Sadly, after the performance, they had to hold a fanmeet.

Exhausted wasn't the word you'd use to describe Stray Kids at this point. More hopeless and tired and done with everything.