Lethal || k.nj & l.m ✔️

XXV

Gummy's POV

I sit in my room for the last night, I've decided that even though Namjoon's funeral was today. I need to start my new and normal life as soon as possible. There's no time to wait, and I know that Namjoon will be there with me every step of the way.

After Sehun has given me the envelope,he said that he'd give me the number of my grandmother. Apparently, she's still alive. Not much of a surprise to me, I get my strength from my mother's side of the family. Though I have no strength at this moment.

I'm sort of nervous about becoming normal, getting a job with people who don't have multiple skills that can kill a person. I won't be able to use any of my martial art skills, but I do believe that my computer skills will come in handy.

I stare down at the envelope, snapping out the all the thoughts of being normal. My fingers running over the pen lines of my name. Tears filling my eyes, I can't even see my name on the front of the envelope anymore. "You can do this, I know you can," I tell myself. I slowly start to gently open the envelope, not wanting to rip the paper. I pull the paper out, turns out to be two papers. I press the papers against my nose, it smells like him.

I take a deep breath and unfold the papers, bracing myself to read it.

-

Jiyeon,

If you're reading this letter right now, it's because I was killed during this mission and Sehun has given you this letter I wrote to you. 'When the hell did you write this letter' you may be asking yourself at this moment.

I wrote this letter while you were sleeping, two nights after I asked you to marry me and we made love. In the safe house located in Korea, in our room, as you slept soundly in the bed we once shared just for that night.

Shit, this sucks so bad to even think that I didn't make it. I thought I was bad ass enough. As long as you're still alive, that's all I care about.

As I sit here tonight thinking about the possibility that I'm dead, boggles my mind.

I will never forget you Jiyeon, never. You will always be my ride or die, even if our ride has come to an end.

I know that I've been a dick about everything on this mission, but you're the only person who has kept me sane. You kept me on check and put up with me.

I will forever be grateful for you, I know we've been together for years.. but I want you to be strong. Be strong for me, I want you to do what you know is best. And in the future I want you to find a man who will love you better than I ever did. A man who could keep you safe.

Fuck, I told myself I wouldn't cry.

In my last days before my life's end, I'm happy I got to spend it with you. I will never forget your warmth, kiss, touch, voice, and smell. You're my always, and it's okay if our always wasn't meant to last forever.

It's a shame that we could never have a family together or even a normal life. I wish I could give the world to you, and have all the problems and nasty people go away.

Stay safe, I don't want you to live less than you should. Please, live a normal life for me and don't stay in the company forever. I know Sehun will understand.

You're a strong woman, I know you are. And you will do great things with your life. Like the great things, you've done for me. You made a cold heart warm again, a straight face smile, a rough guy soft and an unlovable man lovable. My dimple is only for you.