It's all fun and games but sometimes you need to come back to REALITY

CHAPTER 19.

i liked writing that chapter , hope you enjoy this one too x

Chapter 19

I walked out of my tent and looked around at the river flowing beside me.

I walked over to one of the fold out chairs and sat down breathing in the fresh Australian air.

“ your up early” I looked over and smiled.

“ yeah”

Jayson comes and pulls one of the chairs over to me.

“ happy birthday “

I looked at him and laughed.

“ your such a dick”

Jayson smiled and nodded. “ I know”

I looked back out onto the river and Jayson slid his hand into mine.

“ you know I was kidding.”

I nodded.

“ so , your 18 , so what you going to do?” Jayson asks.

I shrugged my shoulders and laughed.

“ nothing”

“ you have to do something”

I shook my head and pulled my legs up to my waist.

I felt a tear run down my face and Jayson sighed.

“ his not worth the tears.”

I nodded.

Jayson pulled his chair around me and pulls my legs so he could see me.

“ I don’t like it when you cry, what happened, we have been here for four days and you haven’t told me what’s wrong and Emily wont spill.”

“ i….. cant……” I stutter out.

Jayson sighs and shakes his head.

“ what did he do?”

I whipped the tears and stood up.

I made my way to the fridge  and grabbed out some bread.

“ do we have a toaster?” I ask.

Jayson nods and grabs a fork out.

“ here” he says grabbing the bread out of my hand and walking over to the fire.

I followed behind and sat down in my seat as he toasted it agents the fire.

We sat in silence till my bread was all cooked.

Jayson handed them and went to clean up the mess.

I held the two peace’s of toast and started to cry.

Jayson walks over and looks at me.

“ what’s wrong?”

I held the two peace’s of toast out and Jayson looked at me confused.

“ what am I meant to do with them?”

“ take them”

Jayson places them into his hands then looks at me even more confused.

“ now what?”

“ now eat one”

“ what?” Jayson says with a giggle.

I started to laugh and grabbed one.

“ now what?” he asks still laughing.

“ now eat it” I laugh.

We both bite into the bread and I felt a smile appear.

Jayson moves it away from his mouth and couldn’t help but smile.

“ why did I do that?”

“ because…. That’s what me and Louis do,”

Jayson looks at me confused.

“ in the morning , Louis eats toast and I eat one”

Jayson laughs and takes another bite as I start to think.

Jayson squats down next to me and I look at his smiling face.

“ I cant take your brothers position , but ill always be here for you”

I gave him a smile and nodded.

“  I miss them”

“ I know” Jayson says putting his hand on my leg.

I shook my head at him.

“ I cant go back”

“ why !!!!! Jayson says collapsing with his butt falling to the ground.

I looked at him and shook my head.

“ I cant see Harry”

“ why??” Jayson asks looking very confused.

I rubbed my eyes and cried.

Jayson sighs and puts his arms around me.

“ its okay , we can talk about it another time.”

I nodded and fell into his arms ..

Back in England!!!.

I walked into the house and looked at the bodies that were sitting in my living room.

I slid in between Niall and Liam and looked at the television

I watched it turn onto the news and the volume decreases.

“ have you spoken to Gabby?”

I looked over at Louis and shook my head.

“ no”

Louis turns back to the television and huffs.

What was I supposed to do.

I slowly rose and walked out of the living room up into my bedroom.

I could hear the boys talking as I closed the door and walked over to my bed where on the window sill was Gabby’s present I bought her in America lighting up my whole room.

I sat in the middle of my bed and looked out the window at the cold frosty English air.

“ mate you have screwed up” I say to my self shaking my head.

I looked at the pillow which was on my side and reached for it bringing it to my lap and smelling Gabby’s smell.

I shook my head while curling my arms around the pillow.

“ why do I always wreak anything good that happens in my life.” I say again.

I wish I could turn back time, I wish I new where Gabby was so I could plead, I wish ….. that was the thing , what else did I wish for? That’s the question that kept running around in my head.

In the last week I had only slept around 12 hours. I even tried sleeping in the same bed as Louie but it wasn’t the same , I needed Gabby.

I closed my eyes and slowly lied down on my mattress.