To Save a Soul

Chapter 9 Blind Betrayal

Katherine walked in a dreamlike haze back to her room where she grabbed none of her armor, just her rifle. Righteous Authority, the rifle Danse had given her, the rifle she was supposed to kill him with. How could she have been so blind? How could she have been so incredibly stupid? She thought that she should be furious but she was broken and afraid, but mostly she felt alone. It felt like she had lost Nate all over again...but worse somehow.
"Katherine! Stop!" Haylen was screaming as she chased her down the hall. Katherine whirled around.
"I know what happened. I know what Maxson told you. I warned Danse, I did. Katherine think about it, really think about it. He deserves to tell his side doesn't he? Maybe it's a mistake. Even if it's not though...did he know and does he deserve to die for something that he didn't do to himself?" Haylen said frantically. Katherine raised her eyebrows at her.
"Haylen has the Brotherhood taught you nothing?" Katherine asked with a wavering voice. Her facade of coolness failing.
"Katherine I have been your friend this entire time, but I have known Danse longer. Katherine you can't kill him! He never even got the chance...you're important to him, Katherine don't do this to him..." Haylen went on frantically. Katherine looked around nervously, no one else was around.
"Haylen. I don't even know where he is, I don't know what the fuck is going on." Katherine told her. It was the truth, she was at a complete loss. With a nod she made to pass the Scribe, but was stopped once again.
"The only place I can think that he would go would be Listening Post Bravo, it was our fallback point when we were at the police station. Make the right decision."
    Katherine hadn't been out in the open wasteland by herself since the first few days since she had escaped Vault 111. Paladin Danse had always been with her, someone had always been with her. Once on the ground she moved as fast and as low as she could. Katherine traveled through the night, clutching her rifle so tightly that her hands had begun to ache. She was stopped dead in her tracks when she approached the bunker. It had been rigged with two automatic turrets that sat atop the building. With two well aimed shots she disarmed them. Danse was prepared, he had armed the building with some serious defense systems, he knew what was coming and why. The efforts he had gone through didn't convince Katherine in his favor, in fact it made the pit in her stomach grow. Katherine crept carefully into the concrete room of the bunker. On the wall across from her was a cage full of ammunition. Any other day she would have taken the time to break into it, but not today. Katherine reached out and hit the button for the elevator, surprised at how unsteady her own hand had become.
"What have you done?" she said softly to herself. There was al ump growing in her throat and she had found herself fighting back tears more than once. The elevator hummed and plunged Katherine into a darkness that seemed to go on far longer than it should have. The bunker had to be at least six stories underground.
    The elevator door slid open with a squeak and Katherine stepped out into a cold dimly lit hall. Righteous Authority was clutched tightly in her hands as she took a step forward. The second she got too close to the corner she came under rapid automatic fire. The wall collided with her back violently and as she swung herself back. She couldn't deal with this right now, what had he been thinking? He knew that Elder Maxson would send someone after him and he had rigged the bunker to kill them. To potentially kill her. Katherine giggled a little madly as she pulled the pin on a grenade and tossed it around the corner blindly, just as Danse had always told her not to, she pulled the pin from a second grenade and tossed it as well. Katherine bolted back to the elevator, hunkered down, covered her ear, and prayed that the Paladin wasn't anywhere in harms way. The blast rocked the underground bunker. Despite having her ears covered, they were still ringing. Katherine staggered to her feet, squinting through the settling dust and coughing as it burned her throat.
"Danse?" Katherine choked out.
    Katherine stopped dead in her tracks when she stepped out from around the corner. Across the devastated room was a pane of bulletproof glass and behind it was Paladin Danse, pacing back and forth in a small room. His orange flight suit dirty in the dim light. The journey from the Glowing Sea to Listening Post Bravo must have been a quick and rough one for him. Haylen had given him a heads up, an unforgivable offense against the Brotherhood, and he had had to flee and in a hurry. Had he seen her? She didn't think so. He had assumed that the blast was a Brotherhood soldier...no one significant to him. The Knight burst into the small control room, catching Danse completely off guard.
"Fuck. Why you?" he murmured. The pain in his eyes was unreal. Katherine noticed the gun clutched in his right hand and against all of her training, set her rifle down on the desk beside her. She wouldn't be able to kill him, she knew that now. Danse could hardly bare to look at the woman before him, dirty and frightened. He had known all along that eventually he would cause her some kind of harm, all along he had known he didn't deserve her presence, and all along he knew in the end he couldn't fight off his own selfishness.
"Why me? Who did you think Maxson was going to send? Who better to execute a synth than his own apprentice?" Katherine retorted in a sickly sarcastic tone. She was coming to the realization of the demented game Maxson had been playing all along. She knew how she felt. She knew that Maxson saw her as a prize, a display of power, an object. Now, she thought she could put two and two together as to where Danse came into the equation.
"I knew he would order my execution and he's right to. I wish Maxson had sent someone else. But that doesn't change a thing. I'm a synth, which means I need to be destroyed. If you disobey your orders, you're not only betraying Maxson, you're betraying the Brotherhood of Steel and everything it stands for. Synths can't be trusted. Machines were never meant to make their own decisions, they need to be controlled. Technology that's run amok is what brought the entire world to its knees and humanity to the brink of extinction. I need to be the example, not the exception." Danse told her as he paced anxiously. Katherine's jaw dropped. This was not how she had expected him to say or act. Then again this was Paladin Danse not an ordinary person.
"Are you trying to convince me to execute you?" she shrieked, shocked and enraged. Leave it to Danse to be so devoted to the Brotherhood even when they had ordered his execution so thoughtlessly. Elder Maxson hadn't even given him a chance in Hell.
"Your orders are your orders. Have you forgotten everything I taught you?" he asked, sounding more hurt that she wasn't performing up to Brotherhood standards than the fact that she was there to kill him.
"Do you hear yourself Danse? Do you? This is insane, the Brotherhood and Elder Maxson have betrayed you and you're still defending them!" Katherine roared.
"I am a machine. I need to be put down. I am not human and if you won't do it I will." he said firmly.
    Katherine hadn't forgotten the gun in his hand nor had she forgotten the level of loyalty he had for the Brotherhood. There was no lying that she had felt beyond hurt and betrayed when she had heard what Maxson had had to say. She had marched out of the control center with the intent of executing this so called "monster", but everything changed when she'd seen him. Katherine stood dumbfounded before the broken Paladin. Danse was insane, had he finally snapped?
"You need to do this. Don't worry about me, I'm a machine, you will be exiled from the Brotherhood and maybe even executed yourself if you fail." Paladin Danse said as he dropped to his knees, his hand and the gun behind his back. Katherine couldn't die because of what he was.
"No." she said firmly, coming to terms with her final decision. She wouldn't and couldn't do it.
"Then I'll do it myself. I won't let you bring that kind of grief upon yourself because of me." he said with final resolve as he pulled the gun from behind his back. Katherine reacted quickly, lunging forward and kicking it from his hand. Danse was taken aback and could see that the woman had snapped and was on the verge of tears now. Katherine threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his neck and burying her face in the hollow of his neck. Even on his knees he was almost taller than her. Danse tensed up. He didn't know what to do. His entire world had been flipped upside down. Everything he had believed in and devoted his life to was now against him. He was the enemy now. Yet, the small woman from the vault had been sent to execute him but she was there and clinging to him.
"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Katherine asked in a wavering voice, still hugging the Paladin.
    After what felt like ages Danse stood up but Katherine didn't take a step back, instead she stood mere inches from him, gazing up at him. Her beauty still took his breath away. Her big blue eyes full of pain, the messy white braid trailing down her back to her hips. She had become important to him whether he had wanted her to or not. Maxson would kill her or abuse her for the rest of her life if he was given the opportunity. This world was unlike anything she had experienced before the bombs had fallen and Danse felt that she hadn't fully come to terms with that yet.
"I am a machine Katherine." Danse stated plainly.
"No, you're not. You can't be. There must be a mistake, you're more human than half of the people I've met in this God forsaken world." She told him, still staring up at him, unblinking. Danse still wouldn't make eye contact with her as always.
"Either way I won't do it." She continued. Finally the Paladin looked down at her, staring at her in silence for a moment. He didn't understand.
"Why?" he asked finally. Katherine took a deep breath. She was about to drop the bomb on him that she had been avoiding since she had come to terms with it. It was now or never. If it wasn't Danse she would be forced to return to the Prydwen and submit herself to being an unwilling partner to Maxson just so she could survive. Katherine wasn't strong enough or built to survive in the Wasteland without protection.
"Because I love you Danse." she said slowly, her hands trembling at her sides. The look of shock that registered on his face almost frightened her for a moment. She felt stupid and humiliated.
"Are you saying you're... in love with me? This doesn't make any sense. After everything the Brotherhood taught you, how could you be in love with... well, a machine?" he asked.
"You're not a machine to me." she said. Danse shook his head as if he was still trying to convince himself that he needed to be put down.
"Please Danse." Katherine urged, hoping he'd put an end to those thoughts and the idea that he was a synth. It just couldn't be. She cautiously caught one of his giant hands in her own, encouraging him to snap out of it. The cool breeze of rejection was creeping up on her.
"What about Maxson? He told me that you belonged to him...he warned me to stay away from you." Danse told her. Now it was Katherine's turn to be taken aback.
"What? There is nothing between me and him. He's a horrible man that has no business in leading an army. You saw how he treated me when we were hunting the courser...he almost killed me! I am nothing but something to be conquered in his eyes, a display of power." Katherine sneered with a wild look in her eyes. It was the truth, if it hadn't been for Danse, Maxson would have unintentionally killed her by now. The man was careless, power hungry, and violent.
    Danse was stunned by the fact that this woman had been told that he was a synth, had been told that there was solid evidence from the Institute, yet she still stood only a few inches from him...gazing up at him bravely. Katherine was a strong woman whether she thought so or not and there was no denying that she was one of the strongest people that the Paladin had ever met. Maybe not physically but in every other way. Now she was standing before him choosing him over Maxson. Choosing a life of exile and a life of being hunted for him. Danse decided that from that moment on he would do everything that he possibly could for her. He didn't deserve her but he would give it his all. He had been conserved and professional his entire life, never paying much attention to any individual person. He had honestly believed that he had had no room in his life for anything other than his role in the Brotherhood of Steel.
     Danse caught Katherine by the waist and set her atop the cold metal desk and stood before her. The industrial lights of the bunker flickered dimly but neither thought anything of it. He loved her and she loved him.
"I have loved you since you walked into the Cambridge police station, I didn't realize it then and I didn't want to realize it for a long time. Elder Maxson could have given you a better life and anything you could have ever wanted and I knew that." he told her, earning himself a shy smile from the Knight.He rested his palms on her knees before he said anymore.
"I have been exiled from the Brotherhood, there will be a bounty on my head if they find out that I'm still alive, I will be hunted. Are you sure you want to give up everything you could have with the Brotherhood just to be with me, a synth?" he asked. Katherine swallowed nervously. He was right, it was a major decision but she already knew the answer and didn't need to give it a second thought.
"I'm positive." she told him. The warmth of his palms on her knees was oddly comforting. The man had never touched her freely, willingly. Katherine didn't miss the look of relief that flashed across the soldier's features. Katherine thought that she may be in genuine shock that he had finally taken it upon himself to speak what he thought and to show his true feelings. The Brotherhood had ran his life for so long, this was what true freedom looked like and it came at a terrible price.
"Take my holotags, Maxson will want them as proof that you have completed your mission. It'll be better that you return to the Prydwen and play it off as if you've done what was ordered." Danse said as he took his holotags off and placed them around her neck. Katherine pulled her braid out from beneath the chain and looked down at the tags, studying them. They hung halfway down her torso and made her want to cry, she was imagining what it would have been like if she had simply done as she was told and pulled the trigger when she had seen him.
"Thank you." she said softly.
    Katherine tugged Danse's hand, pulling him close enough for her to swing her legs around his. He had never been so close to someone and not felt uncomfortable...until now. He found himself leaning into her touch. Of any moment in his life...it was this moment that he needed someone loyal to him and comfort the most.
"I like being this close to you." he stated, almost under his breath. He heard Katherine purr in contentment at his words. That's when Danse knelt down and caught her lips with his, one hand on her hip and one in her hair. He kissed her passionately and she kissed him back, her own hands traveling up his arms. Katherine shrugged out of her sweatshirt despite the cool air in the bunker. Danse noticed immediately and pulled away. Katherine stared up at him like a deer in the headlights. Had she crossed the line already? Had she pushed him too far already?
"Are you sure you want this? Me?" he asked her in such a quiet voice that she almost thought she had imagined it, but she nodded anyways. It broke her heart that he couldn't find it in himself to believe that a woman would actually want him. Of course she did. Danse had never slept with anyone before and she had just assumed this given the fact that it had taken him so long to even look her in the eyes when she spoke. Katherine was amazed by how gentle such an enormous man could be as he undressed her with nervous and trembling hands, then himself, before carrying her to the tiny cot.
*                *                *                *                *
"That was exhilarating." he commented and Katherine laughed. She lie beside the Paladin on the rusty little cot, his arm beneath her head and her leg thrown over his.
"Are you alright?" she asked softly. Things had escalated so quickly between them since she had found him and this concerned her. She would be alright but she was worried that Danse may be overwhelmed.
"I never thought there was room for anything in my life besides the Brotherhood. I'm glad I was wrong." he told her as he got up, the cot squeaking. She gave him a gentle smile. She was still worried about the effects his new non Brotherhood life would have on him. It was going to be difficult and quiet the adjustment and she wasn't sure that he had realized just how serious his situation betteron was.
    Katherine got up as well, quickly dressed herself and swung Righteous Authority across her back, watching Danse warily as he put the rest of his armor back on and gathered up his laser rifle and other supplies.
"Where are we going?" Katherine asked.
"You are going to go back to the Prydwen, I'll be here, but first I'm going to see what provisions I can gather from nearby." he told her. Katherine nodded despite the fact that the last place she wanted to go was the Prydwen. At this point she thought they'd be safer and better off in Sanctuary, in the shadow of the vault. She followed Danse back out through the debris filled room and into the elevator. Katherine couldn't believe the progress she had made with the Paladin. There were no more ranks to violate, no more Brotherhood rules to break. When the door slid shut Danse hesitantly reached out for her, he acted as if she would be revolted by him now, and she responded by leaning up against him. On her tip toes she kissed him and felt a hand on the small of her back. Maybe life could be good again. Maybe she could have happiness again. Maybe Danse had been the reason that she hadn't died in Vault 111.
The elevator doors creaked open and the two stepped out into the cold lobby of the bunker. Danse prepared himself to enter the Commonwealth as a target for the first time in his life. He had always been the hunter but now he had become the hunted. He was selfishly allowing another to put herself in danger. Katherine stepped out into the cold sunlight, Danse slowly stepping out of the security of the bunker behind her. Katherine stopped dead in her tracks, hurrying to get her rifle into her hands.
"Drop it or I'll shoot." Maxson said coldly. The sight of the Elder made her heart ache, he had come to take everything she had just gained from her.
"You followed me!" Katherine said, stunned. Danse froze a few yards behind her, equally stunned. After everything. All of the convincing she had done, she had finally gotten Danse to understand and then this. It was truly a metaphorical slap in the face.
"Given the close relationship you had with your sponsor I suspected that there could be a conflict of interest. I came to ensure that my Knight was doing as ordered. I see now that you haven't." He said as he glared over her shoulder at Danse.
"Put that abomination down now and come with me. I will promote you to Sentinel and I can give you everything you'll ever want or need. Just do as you were ordered. Or I can put you both down." The Elder said as he approached Katherine.
"So let me get this straight, I kill him and you can 'give me everything I could ever want...are you proposing a marriage Arthur? Some kind of domestic relationship? But if I don't agree you'll kill me?" Katherine shouted, delirious with fury. Maxson reached a hand out to brush a strand of white hair behind her ear. Katherine ducked away from his hand awkwardly.
"Don't fucking touch her!" Danse roared as he stormed forward. Before Maxson could properly aim his rifle Katherine was in front of Danse.
"Move Katherine." Danse snarled. He was terrifying when he was pissed. There was nothing that would make her move of her own free will. Maxson might shoot Danse but he wouldn't risk shooting her. She had called his bluff. The man was desperate.
"Well, well, well what do we have here? A synth that thinks he has a chance with a Brotherhood Knight? What would she gain from you? You can't give her anything she wants or needs, only a human could. You couldn't love her the way she deserves, the way a human would." Maxson spat, intending to hurt Danse and she was certain that he had. Danse tried to move around her but she caught his hand in her own, freezing him where he stood.
"But you could right? He's not a synth Maxson and even if he was...what about everything he's done for the Brotherhood? Would you really betray him so quickly?" Katherine snarled. The anger in the Elder's eyes was astounding. What had he expected? She was disgusted that she had never stood up to him until now. Katherine jerked away from Danse, took a step towards Maxson. She was too close, invading his space. She stared up at him, at the leader of the Brotherhood.
"If you so much as look back on the way to your vertibird...I will kill you." she whispered. The look on Maxson's face was one of pure disbelief and anger. For a moment she wasn't sure that he wouldn't kill her right there on the spot. After a long moment the Elder finally spoke but not to her.
"Fine. For Katherine, I will allow you to live in exile. The Brotherhood will fire upon you if they see you. You've been warned Danse. Let's go." Maxson told Danse before motioning for Katherine to follow him. Katherine couldn't believe that after everything she had just said and done that he honestly thought that she would still return with him. Katherine took a slow step back, the chilled grass crunching under her boots, Danse wrapped and arm around her protectively, his rifle in his other hand. Maxson fumed at this display and Katherine held her breath anxiously.
"Very well. You're exiled as well, I'll give you a days head start before I send a unit out to find you and bring you to me. I'm done asking, and Danse...I'm going to kill you after I make you witness what is to become of this bitch." He snarled before he stormed back to the vertibird.
    Katherine let her hands rest on Danse's arm that was still across her chest as they watched the vertibird fly out of sight. Her post war life had been flipped upside down just as fast as her pre war life had. All she could hope for this time around was that she wouldn't lose Danse as she had lost Nate and Shawn.
"What do we do now?" she asked quietly. Danse thought to himself for a moment. He had to get them somewhere safe, somewhere nowhere near any Brotherhood posts. They were extremely limited on supplies and weapons now that neither of them had access to an armory.
"We run." he told her. Katherine squirmed around to face him in the cold morning light.
"We can go to Sanctuary. It was my home before the war. It's far enough away that if we can get there alive I think we will have a chance. I sent a group of settlers there before I even found you at the police station." she told him. Hopefully Preston and the others had made it there alright. Danse kissed her forehead.
"Let's go." he said.