Fight or Flight?

Chapter 8

Roses pov

I mostly took care of Jack Jr . Occasionally when I have him Cal would demand to have him. Then taking him away for an hour before putting him back in his bed for me to pick up. Mother would just have him off for show parading him around like he was some prized specimen. As does Cal but in a different way.

"Cal what are you doing?", I walked in to see poor Jack jr on the pool table crying with his doodle out. I was appalled and shocked while Cal just stood back laughing at me for caring so much about my sons private parts. I then walked over and wrapped him up quickly as I could. I was about to leave when Cal then gripped me hard for embarrassing him in front of his friends.

"You will pay for my embarrassment tonight", he said harshly before letting me go having a laugh with his friends.

That night I paid for how I saved Jack Dawson Jr. Cal slapped and hit me one for each bottle he drank. Leaving me with bruises and redness all across my body. Mother didn't really care. It was only when I got a black eye she would ask what happened. But as she dressed me and saw the bruises and hand prints all over my body she overlooked it like it wasn't even there. But she agreed with me that when Cal is drunk that I stay away from him. And that we hide Nathan Hockley at all costs.

But when he isn't like that she is encouraging me to spend time with him. Yes the guy that physically assaults me and calls me names while I'm defending myself and my son.

Sometimes I feel like I could just give in and take the easy way out. Telling him the truth walking out with my son my only possession in my arms. I wouldn't care what he would do. I just want to run. Far away from him. Far away where his name and business is unheard of. A place where there is green meadows for my son to grow up and play with. Animals to give him responsibility. A life worth living where you can go and do anything you want. Just like Jack. I made a promise and I'm going to keep it. I may not be able to go to the places I want to go to now. But I can try. Ask. It's the only way to get me out of here.

"Cal?", I held Jack jr in my arms as my reassuring shield incase Cal got angry and refused my idea.

"Mmhm", he sat in his chair filling in the paper not paying attention to me or 'his son'.

"I want to go to Santa Monica Pier", I said straight up. That got his attention. He immediately took the paper down from his devilish face.

"You what? You want to go where?", he got up walking over to me making me walk back to the window still afraid if he would hit me.

"Santa Monica", I said bravely as he stood face to face to me, "think of it as a wedding present to me or an early honeymoon", I gave him ideas just to cover up why I really want to go. Jack.

"Say we'll go sometime, to that pier. Even if we only just talk about it"

"No we'll do it. We'll drink cheap beer. We'll ride on the roller coaster roller till we throw up. Then we'll horses on the beach, right in the surf. Now you'll have to do it like a real cowboy none of that none side saddle stuff", he told me.

"You mean one leg on each side?", I had to be sure.

"Yeah", he responded with.

"Can you show me?", I asked.

"Sure if you like", was his answer.

"Teach me to ride like a man"

"And chew tobacco like man", he said with an accent.

"And spit like a man", I continued on with his funny voice.

"What they didn't teach you that in finishing school?"

"No"

"Well come on I'll show ya. Let's do it", he took my hand.

"We don't have to go now. Not until,..Nathan is much stronger. He's a bit too young for the outside world. He's only two weeks old", I kept giving my plan support. Stumbling on the name that I will not call my son.

"Yes yes yes. I know. But why would you want to go there? It's a dirty horrible place. Their are thieves and pick pockets everywhere there!", Cal wondered why trying to make it sound like a bad idea and horrible place to take me and a newborn baby.

"Won't you at least consider it?", I spoke directly after him, "I mean the beach,the sun, the change of scenery. Wouldn't it be nice to get out of a city for a change? To just sit back and have a nice holiday"

"Oh a holiday! You want a holiday now is that what it is?!", he started to get all cocky about the idea raising his voice at me trying to get everyone out of the house.

"No! Think of it as my last chance travel! I want go to somewhere. I want to experience things", I became to become frustrated and upset with him. Why? Just why him? Why is he stopping me? Why is he stopping me from going to this wonderful place Jack?

"Right fine then!", he gave into me as I wiped away my tears away, "we'll go", all the pain was lifted off my shoulders as joy and excitement began to fill in, "but only... if you become my wife. Without fail or hesitation at the alter, or before OR even after the ceremony, he looked at me sternly. Stay strong Rose. Just stay very still. Don't faulter, "you made a fool of me once Rose but not twice. Not twice. This is your last chance of freedom Rose. Don't waste it. Cause you won't be getting any holidays or trips. You will stay at home like a pretty girl you are and bare children like you're supposed to. Is that any way unclear?", he asked. I then looked down at Jack Dawson Jr who moved his small two week old hands around. This would be his first trip out. His only trip out! But I made a promise to Jack and I'm going to keep it. I may not see all the other things first hand. But hopefully Jack Dawson Jr does. Even if it's on one of Cals boring garishly business trips that I now
know he will never take me upon. This is my only chance. Not his. I'll make sure of that.

"No", I answered sealing my fate of not going anywhere outside this house besides this one time I begged for it. Selling my freedom and rights away for this one trip.

"Good. I'll make arrangements and we'll leave in two weeks time", Cal was then satisfied and walked out. Leaving me all alone with Jack jr who was crying.

"I know I know", I told him, " hopefully mummy didn't make a mistake. I don't want this trip to be a mistake. I've given everything up", I cried, "not you Jack. And not you Jack Dawson Jr", I cuddled my son up close to my face, "I'll never let go. I promise", I kissed his small hand in tears.