Ibinu

Chapter 2:Epiphany.

SS1.

I squatted in front of the home economics lab, head tilted, a blank expression on my face as I bounced slightly and thought up fun new ways to kill myself.

ɪᴛ'ꜱ ᴛʜᴇ ʙᴇꜱᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏꜰ ᴍʏ ᴅᴀʏ.

I was wondering how bad it would hurt if I stabbed myself with the broken glass window louvres and the relief it would bring. ɪ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɪᴛ ᴛᴏ ꜱᴀᴠᴏᴜʀ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ꜱʜɪᴛ, ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴛᴀꜱᴛᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴀɪɴ. ʜᴍᴍ.

I looked up and the passage leading to the girls' hostel remained deserted. I didn't think anyone would be passing through it for at least two hours. 

That gave me an hour and a few minutes if I was quick. I started considering my options:

I could stab myself in the abdominal part of my aorta with the louvre and die from excessive bleeding, a quick albeit messy break.

A knife would be more suitable as a louvre could barely slash my wrists although it's the most convenient.

ɪ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ꜱᴏ ʜᴀᴛᴇ ᴛᴏ ʙᴇ ʀᴇꜱᴄᴜᴇᴅ ᴀꜰᴛᴇʀ ᴀ ꜰᴀɪʟᴇᴅ ꜱᴜɪᴄɪᴅᴇ ᴀᴛᴛᴇᴍᴘᴛ ᴀɴᴅ ꜱᴇᴇ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴏꜱᴇ ᴄʏɴɪᴄᴀʟ ɢᴀᴢᴇꜱ ᴍᴏᴄᴋɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ ꜰᴏʀ ɴᴏᴛ ʙᴇɪɴɢ 'ꜱᴛʀᴏɴɢ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ'. ꜱɪɢʜ.

ʙᴜᴛ ᴡʜᴇʀᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴀ ᴋɴɪꜰᴇ ɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ꜱᴛᴜᴘɪᴅ ꜱᴄʜᴏᴏʟ? ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ɪ ɢᴇᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ɪꜰ ɪ ꜱɴᴜᴄᴋ ᴏᴜᴛ? I wondered. 

Forget it, I wouldn't even be able to make it past the forest, talk less of successfully sneaking past the villagers.

Should I just steal a knife when next my parents come to visit me?  ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴇxᴛ ᴠɪꜱɪᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴀʏ ᴡᴀꜱ ꜱᴛɪʟʟ ꜰᴀʀ ᴀᴡᴀʏ.I couldn't wait that long! My anxiety was already acting up so I guess that plan was cancelled. 

ᴏʀ .... ᴡᴏᴀʜ. ʜᴇʀᴇ'ꜱ ᴀ ʙᴇᴛᴛᴇʀ ɪᴅᴇᴀ, ɪ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴀʟᴡᴀʏꜱ ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ ᴏɴᴇ ꜰʀᴏᴍ ᴛʜᴇ ᴋɪᴛᴄʜ-

"Lola!" Someone interrupted.

ʜᴇʏ, ɪ ᴡᴀꜱ ᴛʜɪɴᴋɪɴɢ ʜᴇʀᴇ. ᴡʜᴏ ʜᴀᴅ ꜱᴜᴄʜ ᴇꜰꜰʀᴏɴᴛᴇʀʏ, ꜱᴜᴄʜ ɢᴜᴛꜱ, ꜱᴜᴄʜ ʙᴀᴅ ᴍᴀɴɴᴇʀꜱ ᴛᴏ ɪɴᴛᴇʀʀᴜᴘᴛ ᴍᴇ?

Uh oh, I lifted and turned my head to see Kayne glaring at me and from the state of that frown, it seemed like he had been trying to get my attention for a while. 

ꜱʜᴏᴏᴛ!

"Hey, Amandi." I waved awkwardly with a fake smile on my face.

Play it cool, think ice block, zobo, lacasera, cucumber, sour cream and onion walkers. Ok, now I was just thinking about food. ꜰᴏᴄᴜꜱ!

Come on Lola, you've got this. He could never have guessed what you were thinking, your mind is too great to be cracked.

"You promised you won't be alone when you're like this."He stated as he walked closer.

He doesn't know, he's just trying to make me crack. ʙᴜᴛ ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ ꜱɪʀ, ɴᴏᴛ ᴛᴏᴅᴀʏ.

"When I'm like what?" I retorted as I stood up. But with my shifty eyes, I don't think I was convincing anybody. 

ʏᴇᴀʜ, ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ɴᴏᴛ ᴇᴠᴇɴ ᴄᴏɴᴠɪɴᴄɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ. Lola's subconscious stated snidely.

Oh, shut up.